The Expert
by Dying-Revenge
Summary: Dean desired to become a writer. After two years of working at a shop with his friend Josh, Dean was desperate for ideas. But one day, Josh gave him a great idea, and that was to write erotica. Unfortunately, Dean didn't know the first thing when it comes to writing porn. He needed some help, so he went to the closest thing to a sex expert he could think of...a camgirl.
1. Chapter 1

I don't want to write comedy, because how many people actually laugh at books? I would rather not try action or adventure, because I don't want my books turning into shit movies. I am just not good at horror, so that's a bust.

So after knocking down almost all major genres, I yet again left myself with romance and drama. Now, don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with romance and drama. But unless I want a broader fan base than teen girls and soccer moms, I have to either avoid romance altogether, or I have to somehow think of a way to make the romance genre my bitch.

"Umm… what is something that hasn't been done before?"

Nowadays, I had to use every possible second brainstorming. So most of my showers were spent banging my head into the wall instead of scrubbing.

"Romance horror? Nah, how the fuck would that work? I can't even write horror in the first place. Maybe a combination isn't what I am looking for."

For a couple years now, I have been trying to finally hit off my writing career. It started off with some blogs about restaurants and a couple internet shows, then I tried my hand at creative stuff which tickled my fancy a lot more. Some poems, short stories, the basics. But the more and more I wanted to write, the less and less I wanted to live a simple blue collar life.

"What if, like, one character breaks the fourth wall and knows they are in a love story? Maybe, maybe."

Every week day from ten to three o'clock was spent working at a tiny shop down the street where I just spent a couple hours each day working with simple machines fixing small appliances and making a couple parts. Not hard work, just tedious.

"Maybe it should be something taboo, like an older woman and a younger guy? Nah, that would get me in trouble."

Doing simple shop work gives you a lot of time to think, and the more you think, the more you wish you were doing something else. So every day after work was another attempt at either brainstorming or forcing myself to put something on the page. And for two years, everyday ended with either a 'this sucks' or a 'maybe I'll work on it tomorrow.'

"A monster? No, what the fuck am I thinking."

But recently, I started narrowing down what I think might work for me. I finally convinced myself that a romance story might be where I have to start. But even though I know the race, I still need to find the God damn track.

After one more twenty five minute shower (twenty minutes being rinsed by hot water, the other five scraping my skin clean after realizing it's been twenty minutes) I headed off to work. I can just feel it, maybe another day or two and I will finally be able to make myself write something.

I walked in through the shop door, and the familiar hum and ruckus of old machines struggling to stay together welcomed me yet again. At his station was my one and only co-worker Josh.

"Hey man, good morning."

"Hey Josh, how are you?"

"Doing good Dean, doing good. Hey, you got some gaskets that need replacing, and a couple hoses need patching."

"Where's the boss?"

"Take your pick. Either inside his boat, or his wife."

"What about both?"

"That'd be an interesting porno, I bet."

Josh and I found this job together. The boss (just get used to us calling him that, that's all we ever did anyway) was looking for some guys to replace his nephews at the shop once they left, and me and Josh fit the bill. Two guys without a college degree and no kids to give us excuses to miss work. The boss taught us on the spot what we needed to know, and after a week or so, me and Josh practically ran the place. Taking and making orders, signing for shipments, etc. The boss made a couple stops at the shop every week to either do some paperwork or sign our checks. He ain't a bad guy or anything, but let's just say me and Josh have a lot of fun when he isn't around.

"So what are you working on today?"

"Almost done with that piston, just got some spiffing and shining to do. After that, I got another vacuum to fix."

"I hope this one has spaghetti caught in it again."

"Fuck you, and fuck your vacuum spaghetti."

We were buddies back in high school, but working at the same shop for two years has practically made us designated best men for each other.

"So Dean, you get any writing done?"

"Nah man, still having trouble thinking of something to write."

"Really? Still?"

"Yup. At least I kind of came to grips I am probably gonna have to start with a romance story."

"Romance, eh? About what?"

"That's the hardest part. I've been trying to think of something unique or special that isn't illegal in the real world."

"Well what have you come up with so far?"

"Eh, I was considering age gaps, species, fourth wall breaks, but nothing is sticking."

"Hmm."

I saw the cogs in Josh's head turning. He wasn't a scholar, but he wasn't a caveman either.

"What, you got something?"

"You know brother, speaking of pornos…"

"What? What about pornos?"

"Why not give erotica a try?"

"Erotica? Seriously? Written porn?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Dude, if I can't write an exciting chase scene, how am I supposed to write a sexually exciting scene?"

"Listen, I know you're a virgin but-"

"Alright, alright, alright. I get it."

"Think about it man, it can't hurt to try."

"You know what, maybe you're right. Thanks Josh."

"No problem. Now I gotta go check out that vacuum."

Josh made his way to the back room, but I was left standing there, contemplating what he just said. I never even considered adult material before, but now that I am, it started to really resonate with me. There's already a lot of erotica out there, but it's probably a lot easier to be unique with dicks and vaginas than it is sappy one liners and heartbreaks. You know what, this might actually work!

The second I get home, I am gonna try to write me some porn.

For the first time in a while, I was actually kind of excited to get home and fire up my laptop. But duty calls, and I had a couple jobs ahead of me. I fired up a machine and some tools and was just about to start working until I heard Josh screaming from the back room.

"Mother fucker, it's vermicelli this time!"


	2. Chapter 2

"So what kind of porn is it gonna be?"

"Couldn't tell ya. Gonna have to think about that."

"Well what kind of porn do you like?"

"Josh, would you believe me if I told you I don't watch a lot of porn?"

"Normally, yes. But considering you practically jumped at the idea of writing smut, I think otherwise."

"Eh, got me there."

"So, what do you like?"

"Well nothing special I guess. Lesbians are hot."

"What are ya, a sixth grader?"

"The fuck is that supposed to mean? I can't find lesbians hot?"

"Nah, you have every right to. But every pubescent sixth grader in the country thinks scissoring and strap-ons are God's gift to horny men."

"So what else should I like?"

"Don't ask me you psycho. Why do I gotta decide what kinky shit you are into?"

"Well mother fucker, you're the one calling me a sixth grader. You're acting like you are about to sing me a Disney song that half way through I'm gonna like transition into a kinky porn connoisseur."

"You keep using big words like that, you'll be the playboy Da Vinci."

"I'm having a lot of trouble deciding if you're actually helping or not."

"Well I mean you said it yourself, you gotta be original. A kink might be your best bet. Who wants another love story about a guy simply banging a woman? See what I mean?"

"Well list a couple."

"Kinks?"

"No, publishers. Of course fucking kinks!"

"Well I mean ya got feet, scat, milking, enemas-"

"Holy shit, I'm sorry I fucking asked."

"Dude, you said list some kinks."

"Yeah, and two out of the first four involved asses."

"Well if you're creative, it could be all of them."

"You know what, I'm just gonna ask someone else."

"Mother fucker, like who? Who the hell you gonna ask about kinks and porn and shit?"

"That's for me to figure out and you to stay the fuck out."

"I feel the love brother, I feel the love."

The next time he talks about anal kinks, I'm gonna stuff an entire God damn potato salad in a vacuum cleaner for him to fix.

After another day of work and arguing what the true definition of Viking metal was, I found myself at home plastered in front of my laptop. Why was I plastered? Because I remembered I had no fucking idea what I was doing.

"Porn…porn…porn…how the fuck do I write porn!?"

I really wanted to smash my head on the keyboard, but then I remembered my laptop costed me a couple paychecks, so I just grunted instead like a good boy. As annoying and gross Josh could be, he did have a point and he was more knowledgeable about any of this shit than I was. I was contemplating texting him for some more advice, but that then takes the risk of him texting me porn and weird shit as reference. Well…'weirder' shit.

"So…..who do I ask for help?"

Welp, authors were out of the question. My best friend was Deadpool for Halloween, and managed to break up with last girlfriend using silly string. Do you really think I have any sophisticated writers in my contact list?

"Maybe like a professor or some kind of doctor?"

Maybe, but that probably meant having to sit on a red love seat with an old white woman with a non-identifiable accent while she talks about her previous and scarily vast sex life with four husbands, two wives, and maybe a farm animal. Um, gonna have to take a pass on that.

"What about like an actual porn star?"

Like hell. Even if I managed to get into contact with one, the reek of sweat, cocaine, money, remorse, and artificial body treatments would probably send me down the fucking yellow brick road and back to Wonderland just in time for tea.

"So I got no authors, I got no doctors, and I got no porn stars. Great."

I drew a shit hand, and I am forced to fold.

"Come on, there has to be fucking someone that can just pop in and help me with this shit. It doesn't even have to be personal, just send me back an anonymous e-mail or chat or some shit."

If my laptop was alive, it would have either killed me or itself by now. Even though I barely used it, I looked at my laptop as some sort of magical conduit. It was what connected me to my future, so I spent a lot of time talking to it, trying to metaphorically pass through it right to my future mansion and hot ass wife.

"What do I need here? I need someone who is down to earth, someone whom I can easily get into contact with anonymously, and someone who knows how to describe what it's like getting penetrated. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fu-"

Wait a second…

"That's it…. That's it!"

I'm starting to feel that spark finally! Well, I think it's a spark. A conduit is like an electrical thing in real life, right? It corresponds to my previous analogy? Eh, who cares. I figured it out!

"One of those fucking cam girl things!"

All I gotta do is have a pleasant conversation with a college girl who will shove a banana up her cooter for enough virtual coins! Why doesn't everyone else do this?


	3. Chapter 3

"How hard can this be?"

Just gotta find a decent cam girl website. I am of legal age, and have a pretty hefty anti-virus, so nothing should prove daunting.

"Free…cam…girl…sites."

Just four simple words in a search bar and holy crap my screen was full of links that had either the word 'live' or 'young' in it. I figured I would take it slow, and examine each one. There was no deadline to my writing career, so might as well take my time and enjoy browsing through.

The first couple websites seemed to be the most 'professional'. The layouts were simple, front pages were appealing, and some even have underage warnings and terms and conditions. I roamed around for a bit on them, but unfortunately they didn't show a lot of promise. Since they were the first results on such a basic search, that meant they were popular. And from what I can tell, if you are a cam girl working for a popular website, you know how to bring in the moolah.

A lot of the girls weren't willing to do anything unless you either gave them hundreds in virtual coins beforehand (in which the entire chatroom benefitted), or you gave them hundreds in a private chat room. Here's the thing, I am not gonna spend hundreds of dollars just to get a conversation going. A lot of the time, only people with accounts could even participate in the chat rooms and no way am I making an account on these things. Just because they seemed the 'best' didn't mean they still weren't shady as fuck.

Although one of the chats I joined had a topless girl rocking out to Queen. I 'observed' that one for a little bit.

So since the top results weren't entirely promising, I figured some of the lower search results might yield some treasure.

After scrolling down for a bit, I noticed a pattern of the websites getting specific. I got to a point where every three out of five websites were either nothing but black girls, Asian girls, guys, or something weird or out of the ordinary. (I didn't click on it, but one of them had 'Catholic' in the domain name. Someone gonna need some Confession).

I opted out of the specific ones because in all honesty, I really didn't know who it was I looking for. I didn't care who or what the girl looked like, I just figured it would save me time and effort if I was able to pick from a decent variety. But just barely after the third page of results, everything just became irrelevant. Either the website just didn't exist anymore, or you had to pay a shiny premium to even enter the website.

I usually would have given up by now, but all I have been doing for the past hour was scrolling through semi-naked girls in their bedrooms. I can't say what I was doing was boring.

I figured I would give the higher up results another shot. I scrolled around for a bit on the top result, but as it turns out, you are only allowed to be anonymous on it for so long before it kicks you out.

I got evicted by a cam girl site. Now that's pathetic.

So I gave the second top result another try. This one let me stay no problem, so I gave this one as much attention as possible. I really wanted to find what I was looking for on this second website because I was scared of the third one.

The third one had a fine format and all, but I made the mistake of clicking on a profile called 'JessieB40'. What came on the screen was an older blonde woman. She was good looking, don't get me wrong. People in the chat were donating to her by the minute like it was a children's hospital. Behind her I could see part of a roulette wheel and a white board. On the white board were the rewards the chat gets if someone donates a certain amount of money. Things like boob flash, anal beads, simple stuff like that. But one of the higher up rewards was a roulette spin, and whatever the needle landed on is what the woman did. While I was 'observing' her for a bit, a guy paid enough money for the roulette spin. The wheel was off camera, but you could tell she spun it. She shifted the camera over so the chat could see the wheel spinning. The speed of the wheel and the very grainy quality of her camera made it impossible to read any of the outcomes on the wheel. I was kind of curious, so I stuck around. The wheel started to slow down, and the large black lettering started to become clearer. But the camera was so cheap, I wasn't able to read what it landed on until it stopped completely.

It landed on pissing.

So yeah, I ain't going back to that website.

I rummaged around a little bit, lowering my standards at the same time. At this point, I didn't care if it was a granny or a tranny, I just needed one of them to let me chat anonymously. I dug deep into the website, deep enough to even find a FAQ link. Wanna know some of the questions that were frequently asked?

-How do I link my credit card?

-How do I make an account?

-Can the girl see me?

-Can I talk to the girl?

-How do I enter a private room?

I hate how my questions are never asked frequently enough to show up on these things.

I thought that maybe at the bottom of the page there would be a hidden Support or Contact Us link, but nope. Just a very surprising trademark.

I then tried maybe a way of filtering my search. There were options, but only ones that involved what color of skin you were currently in the mood for.

Since manually searching and trying to get help wasn't giving me results, I had to take a step back and reassess the situation.

"Alright, alright. How the hell do I find a cam girl that would let someone anonymous talk to her?"

I hummed a little, breathed in an over exaggerated manner, did some pacing, and buried my face in my palms a couple times.

"Popular ones won't, the greedy smart ones won't, who will?"

I tried doing some Criminal Minds-like profiling, but I didn't have anything to profile, and nor was I a criminal investigator.

"God, why am I so desperate to talk to a single girl that doesn't even know me!"

Way to go, another pointless question for me to…

"Wait, desperate?"

By God, I think it happened again.

"Desperate, desperate…. Maybe there is a desperate girl on here somewhere! Yeah yeah, she's lonely and confused, and is just desperate for someone to talk to!"

Perks of being a writer. You take one thing, and immediately give it a backstory.

So I was now on the search for a girl as desperate as I was. But how can I tell a desperate girl on one of these sites?

"What do these numbers mean? I think this one is rating, this one is followers…..um….. oh, what about this? This means 'currently in chat.' That might work."

I then filtered my search by that exact number, the number that represented the amount of people currently in the chat. In my head, I figured girls with low chat population might be the lonely and desperate ones.

After the page loaded back up, the numbers were wonky again and disorganized, but still kind of helpful. I guess there were more algorithms than I thought because even though the chat population numbers were relatively low, they were still sloppily organized.

"Shit, maybe popularity and like login time is affecting this."

I saw a girl who ranked within the top one hundred with only sixteen people were in her chat. I was curious to test my theory, so I joined the chat room and she wasn't even done setting up her room yet. So does being only logged in for three minutes still get you mixed in with these results? Yes.

"Goddamn it."

At this point, I started clicking randomly. Somewhere among these slightly more specific search results was the cam girl of my dreams.

A decent amount of them were allowing anonymous chat, but either none of them were paying attention (I swear to God, one was in the middle of buying a car insurance policy over the phone) or they had no intentions of doing anything dirty (one was just eating oddly flavored jelly beans). After a couple clicks, I would refresh the page, but not the search. A few different girls popped up, and all of them proved fruitless. I got to the point where I was done with guitars and bathroom breaks, and just decided to give up.

I leaned back in my chair, and let my arms dangle at my sides. It's one thing feeling defeated, it's another thing feeling defeated by not finding the right fucking semi-naked girl who probably still lives with her parents. I figured it was time to save me from even more frustration, so I moved my mouse to close the page. But on the way up to the top right corner of the screen, I saw something. Now that I wasn't moving the mouse frantically, I got a better look. It was another girl, but after thinking about it, I realized this one has stayed on the page almost the entire time.

"How come I never clicked on this one?"

Chat population was zero, and her popularity was so low it wasn't even ranked.

"Maybe she is new or something."

I was about to click on her profile, but I got one last good look at the picture. Her expression seemed blank, but very deep at the same time. She was obviously young, but with a face so mature and sophisticated as hers, I was struggling to accept this chick was trying to make a living by virtually stripping for money. I was kind of amazed at how strongly it caught my attention once I finally noticed it. I clicked on it, and while I waited for it to load, I said to myself

"I completely skipped over this, and she's the only one I have seen so far with fucking blue hair."

The page loaded. Her camera feed was on the left, and an equal size blank chat box was on the right. In the chat box, 'Guest4792836' popped up in thick letters right at the bottom. I noticed the timer near the top. She has been streaming for over half an hour already, and her chat box is still empty. For over half an hour, and I was the first one to show up at all.

Her camera quality was awesome. Obviously it was more than a twenty buck web cam, considering I was able to easily tell what movie she was watching on her TV at the back of the room. I couldn't see her mic, but it was top notch as well. I could hear her texting on her phone. The room looked clean, tidy, and not prepared for a strip show. But even though I could see the clean room, and hear her phone, I couldn't see the girl anywhere.

"Come on, again? What, did she just leave this on by mistake?"

But as soon as I said something, she brushed past the screen.

"Oh, there she is. What is she doing?"

She came into view again, except this time at the back of the room. She was putting a different disc into the DVD player.

"Holy crap, another person that uses DVDs? I thought I was the only one left."

She was crouching on the floor, making sure the DVD made it in safe. Her posture made it seem like she was tending a little fire, making sure it was breathing and growing.

Her hair was as blue as the Caribbean Sea, and her outfit screamed lazy day.

It was a weird experience. Usually at this point, I was just waiting for someone to make a large tip so I can see the girl's nipples. But this time, I was kind of just wondering what movie she was about to watch.

She stood back up, but she didn't turn around. I could see her shaking her head, clenching her fists. Out of the blue, she barked

"Fuck this."

She turned towards the camera, and stomped towards it. It might have been because I just spent nearly two hours on these websites, but I could tell she intended on ending her seemingly unsuccessful stream. I typed as quickly as I could in the chat

-Wait!

My computer made a weird whirring sound, and after a one second delay, I could hear hers do the same. She was right at the computer, leaning over her desk moving the mouse. But as soon as the noise went off, I could see her look at a different corner of her screen.

"Wait, someone is here?"

Afterwards, she looked into the camera. So in a sense, she looked at me.

"Oh…um….hey."

I let out a big sigh of relief. Man, was I happy she didn't mute her notifications like a normal person.

I typed a little more into the chat.

-Glad I caught ya.

Another noise went off, and she looked again. Her eyes matched her hair almost perfectly, and they were so big I can see them move every time they looked at something else.

"Listen, um…. I'm sorry. I'd rather not do this right now, I'm sorry."

-Wait, that is not what I'm here for!

Whenever I typed into the chat, she would look at what I wrote, then look back at me.

"Then… what are you here for? Don't you just want to see me naked or something?"

-If this was under any other circumstance, probably. But believe it or not, I actually need your help with something.

"I'm sorry, I don't do private videos. Bye."

-I'm writing a story!

"A story? What kind of story?"

She sat down on her chair, so that must mean I have her attention. I could easily answer a lot of questions in my next short sentence, but I kind of liked being vague. Just meant she had to talk more, and her voice was kind of soothing.

-I'm trying to write a love story, but with a little more 'adult' content. If you know what I mean.

"Like what, erotica? Porn?"

-Yes, exactly.

"So what do you need help with? I told you, I'm not gonna do anything weird."

-All I need is a simple conversation with you, with your permission of course.

"This… sounds kind of sketchy."

-Sorry, I don't mean for it to be. In all honesty, I was worried you would find me weird for coming to this website just to talk to someone.

She chuckled, but only a little bit.

"Yeah, it is kind of weird. But as long as I get to keep my clothes on, I guess I'm game."

-Thank you so much for your time.

"No problem. Oh, my name is Nikki by the way."


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everyone. I just wanted to let you guys know that I am definitely full steam ahead with story. It's been a blast writing it so far, and I can't wait to keep writing more of it. So you don't have to worry about me cancelling this one anytime soon.**

 **I also just wanted to address this chapter and couple chapters that might come in the future. If you have read any of my previous work, it's very obvious I love to write dialogue. I have always wanted to write just pure dialogue stories / chapters for a long time, but I could never find an appropriate time to do so. But with this story, given the situation our characters are in, I figured this was as appropriate time as ever to give 'Only Dialogue' a spin. For me, I had a blast writing this chapter. But after some editing, I did feel like some spots could have used some exposition or inner monologue, but I wanted to stay true to the 'Only Dialogue' to see how it fairs with you guys reading the story.**

 **If you guys enjoy this chapter and the 'Only Dialogue' format, I would be more than happy to dedicate a couple of chapters of this story in the future to this format. However, if this format and chapter is a complete literary failure, please let me know and I would also be more than happy to never even consider this format again. I can only improve and get better with your feedback, so if you have any opinions at all on this story or this format, whether it be positive or negative, I urge you to let me know. Cheers.**

"So what sort of things do you want to know?"

-Well in all honesty, I was just trying to see if something like this was possible. I just spent the last hour trying. So I guess what I am saying is, I'm actually not sure what I am writing yet.

"Just that it's pornographic."

-Exactly.

"Well if you don't mind me asking, what sort of thing have you written before?"

-Not porn.

"Ha, should have seen that one coming."

-That's honestly kind of a tough question to answer. I haven't been writing for an extremely long time, it's something I just sort of recently gotten into. Just a couple years or so.

"What made you get into writing?"

-Well I have been working at a small shop for almost the same amount of time as I have been writing. One day I came home bored out of mind, and just fucked around on my computer. I realized I still had Word, even though I haven't used it since high school. I kind of just bumbled around, playing around with different fonts and such. While I was playing around, I had a random video playing in the background. The video was kind of stupid, so I found myself typing out my opinions in real time. 'This guy sucks', 'that isn't funny' and etc. Sooner than later, I was writing a couple reviews. Then I moved onto creative.

"I can tell. I was expecting something that started with 'Cuz' and ended with 'Yeah, pretty much.'"

-Welp, I'm gonna have to apologize for that one.

"Ha, no worries. I don't hear a lot of stories nowadays, so it's kind of refreshing actually."

-Now, if you don't mind me asking, what got you into this business?

"You can barely call it a business, but since you told me, I might as well tell you."

-Should I grab some popcorn?

"Sure, if you want."

-Nah, I'll just get it later. Go on, go on.

"Well, I guess the spiral down started with a guy I met. I don't know if you can tell, but I am not a social butterfly. My friend was forcing me to hang out at this nightclub, and some guy came up to me. I tried acting miserable and scaring him off, but there comes a time when a girl just wants to stop running away from people. I let him talk to me, and long story short he got me in bed."

-Well that doesn't sound too awful.

"Yeah well…I wasn't the only one…"

-Oh God, I'm sorry. I should have let you finish before I said anything.

"….."

-Hey, if you want me to go, I will. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.

"No, no, please don't go."

-You sure? I can see you crying.

"No I'm not…it's just…I gotta get over it sometime, right?"

-I suppose.

"Well, another long story even shorter. The guy was a dickbag, but I still had a life to live. Losing my virginity did manage to boost my charisma, I will give it that much. I tried video game streaming for a bit, and I was having fun with it."

-Really? You were a video game streamer?

"Yup, but unfortunately it wasn't paying the bills fast enough. But then one day, during a stream, a guy offered me almost two hundred bucks to flash the camera. I had nothing else to lose, so I did. And I bet a writer like you can fill in the blanks from there."

-Indeed I can. Sorry the video game streams weren't cutting it.

"Yeah, I am too."

-Well not to bring more bad news, but I'm still the only one in this chat room. Are these streams working better for you?

"When you aren't one of the internet's top one hundred sluts, you rely on rich horny men to donate hundreds of dollars at once. That's usually how I roll. I do just enough to make at least a couple hundred, make up an excuse to leave, and end the stream."

-And you can get by on that?

"If I do that every day, yes. Tonight was just extremely slow."

-Seems pretty solid. But are you happy doing it?

"Well I… look, are you sure you want to write a pornographic story?"

-I beg your pardon?

"Not to be rude, but all you've done so far is ask me about my life. Doesn't seem like you are interested in a story."

-Well to be honest, I got kind of carried away.

"By what?"

-Just a heads up, no matter what I say next, it will come off as flirty, but that's just because it's in text.

"Okay, what are you gonna say?"

-Well you seem to be a very interesting person. Like I said, I just spent an hour on these websites and you are the first and only one with a decent quality set up, plus you aren't begging for money. I guess what I am trying to say is you seem to actually have a personality.

"I'm trying my best to appreciate that, but the last time someone tried complimenting me they cheated on me with almost eight other women."

-I guess we are just gonna have to rely on the loyalty system here.

"Loyalty?"

-Maybe that was a poor choice of words. All I am trying to say is, it's not like I am trying to get you into a serious relationship. To me, you are a just an interesting person on a screen in an unknown location. While to you, I'm just a series of words and sentences with their own character. Do you honestly think I have the intention of cheating on you anytime soon?

"No, I guess not. You have a pretty good point there."

-So we cool?

"Yeah, we're cool. So what do you want to talk about now then?"

-Well, I could use another hand brainstorming.

"Sure, why not?"

-So as a girl, is there anything you can think of that maybe hasn't been done before in the world of sex and romance?

"Probably a couple things, but none of them would make a good story."

-Try me.

"Well I haven't read any books about like older women and younger guys."

-That is the funniest thing, I was just considering that this morning.

"And what, you don't like it?"

-Not really. Plus I don't think the world would like it either.

"Yeah, you're probably right."

-How about instead of things you have or haven't seen, what's just something you would like to see?

"Umm, that's kind of a tough one. A lot of romantic things never really caught my attention."

-Well take your time. Nothing is stupid, until proven otherwise.

"Ha, 'until proven otherwise.' I feel like we might be doing a bunch of proving then in the near future."

-One step forward at a time. Oh, whoa. Did someone else join the chat?

"Great, another random guy. Gimme a sec."

-What are you gonna do?

"You'll see."

-A private room?

"Yup, no one will be able to bother us here for a bit."

-Sweet.

"Oh, I think I might have something."

-Shoot.

"Well I was trying to think of maybe like characters I have seen in the past that I kind of wanted to see get involved in love and sex. You know, characters that never really had the chance."

-I like where this is going.

"And something that came to mind was like bandits and pirates."

-Bandits and pirates, eh?

"Yeah. Out of all the movies and anime I have seen, they don't really get a chance to experience romance because of the lifestyle. Plus they don't get enough screen time."

-That's genius.

"Well, plus, I always kind of fantasize about doing kinky stuff to them when I beat them in video games. You know, a little bit of horny justice."

-I'm loving this already. Holy shit, my mind is exploding with ideas right now.

"Glad I could be of assistance. Anything else I can help with?"

-You know, maybe one last thing. When I think of bandits and pirates, I think of kidnappings, and usually giant bands of either just guys or girls. I was thinking of a story about a notorious pirate getting captured and tortured by bandits, but I'm having trouble deciding if the victim should be male or female, and if the captors should be male or female.

"Well can I put in some more input?"

-Yes, please. By all means.

"I think maybe both female should work."

-Both female you say? Why both female?

"Well you said you wanted it be also romantic, right? If a guy is ravaging a girl over and over again, them falling In love at any point is too unrealistic. But if a girl is ravaging a guy, everyone would just think the guy was just a lucky son of a bitch."

-But if they are both female, then there really isn't any gender disadvantages or tropes. By God, that is fucking brilliant!

"So that settles it? It's gonna be a lady bandit and a lady pirate?"

-I think so. I think you just gave me my next story.

"Cool. So what do you need to know now?"

-I'm sorry, what?

"What do you need to know to write this story?"

-Umm….

"Have you written about lesbian sex before?"

-No I haven't. OH!

"Did you really forget what you came here for in the first place?"

-Not gonna lie, I completely forgot what I came here for.

"Ha ha, at least you're honest."

-I guess now we gotta talk about the nasty stuff.

"Well, all you gotta do is ask."

-Umm…. Well what sort of things do you think I should know?

"Huh. Well now that you actually asked me, it's tougher to answer. I guess, being able to properly describe the different sensations is one thing. If you use dumb and inaccurate words to describe how the different things feel, a lot of people will call you out on it and make fun of the story."

-Anything else?

"Details I guess is the heaviest thing. Plus you have to write good romance on top of it. Unless you want it to be straight porn, it still needs that solid and believable story."

-Are you sure you aren't a writer? This is all pure gold right here you are telling me. And it's not even the kinky details, it's how to actually write a good story.

"What I'm really telling you is what I want out of this story. I guess that is one way of putting it."

-You want this thing to win awards, don't you?

"Considering I have done almost half the prep-work, yeah I do. Ha, just kidding. Just kidding."

-Alright, so I got that down and that down. Okay, so since we are on the subject, can you think of an easy way to describe…

"Shit, I'm sorry. The private chat is gonna run out soon."

-Oh, well can we still talk afterwards?

"I can't, I'm sorry. It's too complicated to explain right now. But hey, just come back tomorrow, okay? Same time."

-But how will you know it's me?

"Well, what's your name?"

-Dean.

"When you get into the chat tomorrow, just say 'Hey It's Dean' or something like that, okay?"

-Will do. See you tomorrow Nikki.

"Bye Dean."


	5. Chapter 5

"A blue haired cam girl?"

I told Josh all about my experience last night with Nikki and the discovery of my next story.

"Yup, named Nikki. She helped me decide to write a lesbian bandit and pirate story."

"Still going with lesbian, huh? Is Nikki a little boy too?"

Here's something you need to know about Josh. If he says something as idiotic and provoking as what he just said, all he wants is you to play along and get a laugh.

"Well if a sixth grade little boy has big tits, than maybe."

"Well what did Nikki's crotch look like?"

"I told ya, she didn't do anything in front of me. We just had a nice chat."

"Well then how do you know she's a girl?"

"No amount of surgery and hormones can make a man look as good as Nikki."

"Damn, must be hot then."

And as soon as you got him slightly off topic was your chance to throw everything back at him.

"You think a sixth grader is hot then?"

"Well Nikki ain't a….. you son of a bitch. You got me there."

I threw my arms in the air and took a bow.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Dean has scored yet again."

"Score with a chick, then maybe you can brag."

Yeah, the victories never last long. He gets unintentionally spiteful.

"As a matter of fact, gotta make it with three girls. Then maybe it's a competition."

"You haven't banged three girls Josh. You were pulling pasta out of a vacuum again yesterday. You ain't exactly a gold standard here."

"I love when people don't stop saying good things about me."

"Alright smartass. What are we working on today?"

Me and Josh could friendly bicker at each other for weeks straight, but we easily forget we have work to do. We had a big order to fill for water hoses, and washers. However, both were worked on in different rooms. I took the hoses, and went to work.

The main reason I chose the hoses was they didn't require any loud machines. Just some clamps and labor. I wanted the silent job because I had even more thinking to do, except this time my thoughts were actually beneficial.

If my story was gonna be about two lady swashbucklers, I had to start considering their design.

Me and Nikki sort of decided one was gonna kind of be a dominant character towards the other. So that's who I was thinking about first.

First I had to decide if she was gonna be the pirate or the bandit. I was relaying a few different scenarios of what could happen if she was either or. If she was a captain and captured the bandit, maybe she starts to fall for her after constantly protecting her from the gross crew members. And involuntarily, easing her away from the pirate lifestyle.

"Maybe, maybe. But what about….nah. The captain has a way to grow, but not so much for the bandit. She'd just be a plaything with no influence thrown her way. She'd probably never gain true feelings for the captain."

Okay, so what about if the bandit captured the captain? If a bandit was able to capture the captain of a pirate crew, that would be pretty damn impressive.

"Yeah, yeah. And even though the captain is a plaything, the bandit teaches her new ways of pillaging and stealing. The captain kind of then looks up to the bandit, and the bandit then starts to feel what it likes to care for someone since the captain is kind of her responsibility."

Sounded good, but then again.

"Nah, if they started loving each other, it would be kind of weird. It's too student and teacher-y. Not what I'm looking for."

I think what I'm struggling with is I'm not exactly making the characters equal. And that is what would make the romance portion so difficult.

"How in the hell do I make two chicks equally badass fall in love, after one of them is able to get the upper hand and just fuck the shit out of the other one first?"

If only the great philosophers thought about this when they were alive. Fuck equal rights and quantum theory, we need lesbians God damn it!

While pondering my exemplary conundrum, I was trying to snap off the tail of a clamp on the hose. I was obviously not paying too much attention, because if I was, I would have noticed the clamp was crooked in the vice, so when enough pressure was applied to snap it, it flew right at me.

"Fuck! Fuck! Did…fuck…am I okay?"

I didn't feel any pain, just my heart rocking out to Van Halen in my chest. I was thoroughly examining my face, my legs, and the nearby area. Still no pain, but I was so full of paranoia I wasn't convinced something wasn't wrong.

After a couple of seconds, my hand started getting warm, followed by a big stinging sensation. I flipped it over, and right underneath my thumb was a decent slice. Deep enough to feel like a massive paper cut, not deep enough to bleed excessively.

I gripped all around it, trying to ease out whatever I could. But after working with old tools and work materials, I didn't want to touch my wound with a dirty hand. And considering how much the fucker stung, that was the most difficult part.

I could hear footsteps racing towards me. Josh flew inside the room, seeing me squeezing my hand.

"Shit, dude. The fuck happened? Are you okay?"

I have had worse things happen in this shop, but that doesn't mean I wasn't sort of panicking. But, humor always triumphs.

"Lesbians did this to me, man! Fucking lesbians!"

"Well shit dude, where did they go? Were they hot?"

"Yes, absolute bombshells. Now can you get me the first aid kit please?"

"I don't know Dean, not every day hot lesbians are running around here."

"Just get the fucking first aid Josh!"

"Sorry, sorry. On the way."

I know through text, it seemed like I snapped at Josh. But I was imitating John Travolta's character in Pulp Fiction when he was asking for the marker, trying to resuscitate an overdosed Uma Therman. So yeah, not mean in any way.

While struggling to keep my dirty fingers away from my cut, I could hear Josh yell from across the shop

"Lesbians! Where are you!? Do you know where the SpongeBob bandages are!? Those are Dean's favorite!"

* * *

"How did you cut your hand again?"

-I was thinking about the characters for our story, and since I wasn't paying attention, a piece snapped off and got me.

"Maybe daydreaming about lesbians while working with tools isn't a great idea."

-Now I know. Thanks for the advice.

"Well speaking of which, did you decide anything? About the characters?"

-I ran a couple ideas through, but nothing stuck.

"What were some of the ideas you came up with?"

-If the pirate captain captured the bandit, but then the bandit would have no influence or motivation to love the captain. But then if the bandit capture the captain, it would be a weird student-teacher like relationship.

"Alright, that's reasonable. Any others?"

-Nah. I was too focused on dodging shrapnel the rest of the day.

"Got'cha."

-So Nikki.

"So Dean?"

-Can I ask you a question?

"You may."

-So how come we couldn't talk after the private show yesterday?

"Oh, that. It's a matter of more or less trying to not piss off the moderators."

-These cam girl sites have moderators?

"Yeah, but they only have as much access as someone like you. They go around to chat rooms and basically act like secret police. If there is a bully in the chat, if the girl is doing something illegal, and things like that."

-Okay. So how come we had to end it after the private show?

"I mean what we are doing isn't against the rules or anything, but if a mod caught me not doing anything but still going into private rooms, I'd get my private room privilege suspended."

-That can get suspended?

"Yup, because private rooms are the big money makers. Plus, they are a pain in the ass when it comes to management. Only so few private rooms can be used at once without the whole website crashing."

-So they just don't want you wasting processing power basically?

"Basically. I mean, it's reasonable enough, don't get me wrong."

-So was the guy that joined yesterday a mod?

"I didn't know, so I had to play it safe. Like I said, secret police."

-So what if another person joins?

"Well, I doubt a mod will randomly check my stream twice in a row. So I guess the other person is just gonna have to deal with me talking to a friend."

-I really do appreciate that, but you still gotta make a living. I don't want to get in the way of you and your funds.

"Well, I guess it will be based on what kind of person joins. Big spenders have different fonts for their profile names, so I can tell if a guy is worth stripping for or not. So if I see one of those guys join, I'll let you know."

-Will do.

"So what do we need to brainstorm now?"

-Well since I wasn't able to today, I need help deciding the roles of the women.

"Which one is the rapist you mean?"

-Well when you put it like that, the story doesn't sound too interesting.

"Okay, my bad. You mean which is gonna be the 'dominant' one?"

-Much better. And yes.

"Ha, well then. Are we still sticking with pirate and bandit?"

-Well I was just considering two 'bad' girls. Doesn't specifically have to be a pirate or a bandit. Thief, Viking, Ninja, etc. Although I really do like the idea of one being a pirate though.

"Well, when you mentioned thief, I think I may have something."

-For a pirate and a thief?

"Yeah. Because we still need the roles to have potential for them to fall in love right? The way I see it, big baddies like pirates and bandits rape and pillage all the time, so forced pleasure is nothing new to them."

-Go on.

"But I highly doubt an elusive thief gets as much action as a villainous pirate, so they probably get jealous and horny from time to time. So what if the thief steps up and kidnaps a female captain to use for her sexual desires?"

-Can I add more?

"That's about all I got so far, so of course."

-But as it turns out, the captain is horny too since she doesn't want to bang any of her gross crew members. So it's sort of a win-win for the both of them.

"That sounds good, but where would the whole dominant kink thing come in?"

-I have a solution to that. The thief goes to town on the captain, and initially the captain obviously doesn't want it because she is still straight at the time. But eventually, in between the 'sessions' they converse, and get to know each other. Causing the thief to take it easy, and the captain to start to kind of enjoy it.

"That sounds good and all, but I'm just worried about how complicated their bouncing sexuality might be."

-Um….

"Stumped on this one?"

-Well, hear me out on this. What if, they are both straight initially. But due to unforeseen circumstances, the whole situation arises. But as they fall in love, it isn't a matter of sexuality, just them falling in love with a specific person.

"Umm… can you maybe clarify that a little bit?"

-Well like, the captain and thief wouldn't end up being lesbians afterwards. 'I ravaged a female captain by mistake, so I think all women are hot now.' The only women they would be 'gay' for is each other, so it wouldn't exactly be right to pinpoint their sexuality at any point in time. It's just the two of them. No other characters or genders to fall in love with.

"Oh, I see. Okay, I think that is actually pretty nice. It pulls in the dominance kink, and has the potential for them to truly love each other. I think we hit the jackpot there Dean."

-Man, I could not be happier. I'm getting more and more excited, you have no idea.

"When do you think you are gonna start writing it?"

-That I don't know yet either. I still have a decent amount of decisions to make.

"Example?"

-Well, what the women look like, tense, perspective, etc.

"Well I can tell you right now first person is your way to go. Who wants a disembodied voice describing to them what love is?"

-Some people might actually be able to benefit from that, but I agree.

"Ha ha, like who? Your coworker?"

-He can benefit from A LOT of things, believe me.

"Well from what little you told me about him, he does seem like a character."

-That's an understatement.

"Does he write too?"

-Nah. I don't think he has any creative hobbies.

"Really? What does someone that eccentric do for fun then?"

-Nothing PG, I can tell you that much.

"Ha ha, sorry. Sorry."

-What, was the PG joke that funny?

"No, no, not that. I just find it ironic we are judging a guy for not being PG while I should technically be naked for you right now."

-Eh. Naked, schnaked.

"I know we still have the story to talk about, but is it okay if we side track for a little bit?"

-Sure. What's up?

"Well, what has your love life been like?"

-That is definitely side tracking.

"I know, I know, and I'm sorry. I'm only asking because I told you what mine was, plus it might honestly help the story indirectly too."

-I'm not calling you out, but still. You are asking me about my love life kind of randomly.

"Well… I'm still so curious about you not caring at all to see me do dirty things. Given the circumstances, it's even weirder."

-Ah, that explains a bit.

"I'm sorry if I offended you, I just was thinking out loud. You don't have to."

-No, don't worry I don't mind. You just have to give me a minute or so to type it out.

"Okay, take your time."

-Well, it's not as extensive as you might think. I have had just two girlfriends, both barely lasting a month each. The first one I was sort of bullied into by douchebag friends of mine, calling me a pussy for not ever having a girlfriend yet. The second one happened way more naturally, but unfortunately some lies and deception were thrown my way, so that one was almost no better. Ever since then, I have been basically been stuck at work and at home. I'm not as depressed or as miserable as I just made it sound, but hey. It gets lonely sometimes.

"Man, the nice ones finish last, eh?"

-Absolutely. But you had it way worse than me, I don't deserve any pity.

"Well while it lasted, it was fun. It was just until I found out about all the other girls is where it tumbled down."

-I still can't believe that. How many girls was it?

"If you ask him, he would tell you eleven. But he had the balls to tell me he banged an alien, a cat girl, a fairy, and a fucking love goddess too. If you ask me, he got what he deserved."

-Deserved? What happened to him?

"Oh, right. Can't believe I never told you about that. Recently, some guy snapped his arm and beat the shit out of him for trying to take back a couple of the girls he cheated on. One of them was my friend Audrey, she was the one that told me about it."

-Damn, now that's justice. Did she know who beat him up?

"You know, I am really struggling to remember the name. Let me text Audrey, she'd know."

-Got'cha. Oh, shit. Another guy joined Nikki. Is he big bucks?

 _HEY bb, sup ;)_

"Oh, hey Gabriel. It's been a while."

 _Sorry bot the wait ben working_

"Good for you Gabe."

 _I got sum money for a priv show_

"Wanna go private again? Gotta pay up first, you know the drill."

 _Gimme a sec bb_

"Hey Dean, I'm gonna have to talk to you later."

-No problem Nikki. We all have our jobs to do. Same time tomorrow?

"Absolutely. Oh, and Audrey just texted me back. The guy's name was Axel Baron."


	6. Chapter 6

"Eh, not too much work in here today so Boss is having us do some deliveries."

Some of our work orders are shipped out, some are picked up, and some we have to hand deliver. Since Josh had the bigger car, we took his out for today.

"What are we dropping off today?"

"The hoses you did the other day, the gasket order, the vacuum, pretty much most of this week."

"You gonna flip out at the lady who got the pasta in her vacuum again?"

"That one you are gonna bring in, not me. I'm not rich enough to safely commit murder yet."

"Got'cha."

The different locations were pretty much at separate corners of the nearby cities, so me and Josh had a decent amount of driving to do. While Josh drove, he put on some music while I looked out the window. Usually I'd be jamming along with him, but he's been in an emo band phase recently for some reason, and I just couldn't get into the music like he could. But since he's driving, he has full control of the radio. We both respect the hell out of that rule.

After a couple songs, he turned down the tunes.

"Hey man, you alright? I know it's early in the morning but you look glum."

"Nah nah, nothing like that. Just wondering about my story, is all."

"You and this Nikki girl get anything else more done on it?"

"Yeah, we got the roles of the women down."

"Okay? And?"

"It's gonna be a thief and a pirate captain. The thief gets horny since she doesn't rape and pillage like the captain does. So the thief wants to kidnap a big baddie for herself. She accidently takes this badass female captain, but decides to screw around with her anyway. And long story short, they both fall in love with each other because of it."

"Badass thief chick banging a hot chick captain? You got my approval."

"Thanks, now nothing is holding me back from writing it now!"

"Hey, hey, cool it with the sarcasm. I didn't have breakfast yet. I need some protein and vitamins before I can deal with your shit."

"Well after we drop off the first orders, stop by any place you want. It's on me."

"Sweet."

Josh turned the music back up, and I went back to daydreaming out the window. I was giving myself goosebumps about how cool this story would be, but I was still trying to decide what I should have the characters look like. Sure, they are just gonna be a bunch of words and letters, but that doesn't mean I can't paint a hot picture in someone's mind if they ever read this thing.

After the first order, Josh brought us to a fast food place for their English muffin sandwiches with bacon, eggs, and cheese on them. We grabbed the food and pulled into a parking spot to eat.

On any other day, Josh would just eat the sandwich with one hand while he drives, but he ordered a big one today. I didn't know they made English muffin sandwiches that require two hands.

With a mouth oozing bread crumbs and egg bits, Josh asked me

"So dude, what do the chicks look like?"

"That's what I was actually trying to decide this morning."

"Well what have you got so far?"

"All I really got so far is sort of the wardrobe, not hair color or facial details or anything like that."

"So what's the wardrobe gonna be? Start with the thief."

"Well I figured since she doesn't partake in a lot of sexual activities, she probably looks the part. Not a lot of skin, a lot of black, and anything that isn't black is a brown leather."

"Sounds like it sucks."

"Well what the fuck do you expect a legit badass thief to look like? Bra and hammer pants?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let me just make a thief that has no stealthy clothes and shows more skin than a fucking belly dancer. That makes a lot of sense Josh, I couldn't have done it without you."

"My bad, just kidding. I'm just trying to say you gotta make her hot and pretty when it comes to it."

"Do you really think I needed you to tell me that?"

"I'm just throwing shit at the wall here Dean."

"I appreciate the effort, but since when are you so concerned about the shit I write?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"One hundred percent."

"Well, it sounds really important to you. The past few days you seem distracted, so that's how I know you are dedicated to this thing."

"Hey Josh, thanks. Sorry for being a dick about it."

"Eh, you had every reason to. But can I give you an honest to God shot in the dark about one of the characters?"

"Go right ahead."

"Why don't you design one of them after the cam girl?"

I had to pause from my next bite.

"What did you say?"

"Make one of them look like the cam girl you have been talking to. You make her sound attractive, and she seems to have a decent part in all of this. What, don't like that idea either?"

"I… uh….. huh."

"I'm having trouble deciding if that's a good reaction or not."

"Well, don't get me wrong. The idea is solid, I'm just kind of nervous about it."

"Nervous? What's there to be nervous about?"

"Well, it's gonna have porn in it. So if I'm gonna design a character after Nikki, that means I'm gonna have to describe her tits and vagina too. That is what's weirding me out."

"Well Dean, don't get me wrong, but this chick gets paid to get naked in front of random people. I don't think that is something she'd mind."

"Not her, me! I mind!"

"What? Mind? Why the fuck do you mind about talking about this chick's genitals?"

"Because I… I…. for fucks sake, I don't fucking know."

"Dean. You don't know why describing this cam girl's boobs and vagina bothers you. Do you not see something wrong with this?"

"Josh, I do. Believe me, I do. I just… don't want to think of Nikki in that way."

"Dean, she's a God damn stripper!"

"Yeah, but she's cool and shit, she's too cool to be a stripper."

"Too late buddy. Her being a stripper is the only reason you met."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I gotta treat her like one."

"Dean, you falling for Nikki or something?"

"What?"

Josh started the car and made his way to the next delivery. With the music off and his window rolled down, this means I was getting a talking to.

"Buddy boy, open your eyes. I know you're a good guy, and you respect women or whatever. But your complete and utter will to not think of this girl sexually is baffling. It's gotta mean she's more than meets the eye to you."

"I don't know about that Josh."

"Dean, you haven't had the most extensive female interaction in the world. It's normal for guys like you to kind of quickly latch on in these sort of situations. That's not me saying it, that's science saying it."

"Okay, I get that, but I'm not gonna latch on to a cam girl."

"What makes you so sure?"

"I don't get latched on to women I see at the store, I don't dream about girls who hand me my burger, it doesn't happen that often at all. Hell, ever since Stephanie, it never happened again."

"Okay, that might be true. But since when do women at the store and girls in the drive thru help you out with writing a story? Maybe it's not her looks or her personality. It's this story that's making you get feelings for her."

Josh makes a lot of dick jokes. Josh would rather fuck and call a taxi the next morning rather than get married. Josh doesn't think flirting is cheating. Josh has received more nudes than Christmas cards. Josh has sent out more nudes than Christmas cards.

But Jesus Christ, he was as wise as a grandfather when he wanted to be. I think he might have been right.

Stephanie was the second girlfriend I had. Good looking girl, but looking back now, still looked kind of plain. What brought us together was in all honesty our sense of humor. We had barely similar music tastes, movies, hobbies, etc. But the same things made us laugh, and nothing feels better than laughing if you ask me. But while we laughed together, we had our separate lives to live. I was somewhere in the work force, she was doing drugs and dating other men. The only reason I ever found out was because she actually tried getting in bed with Josh, without knowing he was my best friend. He kept the charade going long enough to call me down where they were so I could find out myself. The worst part was despite her horrible drinking and drug habits (that she was able to keep from me), she tried fucking Josh stone cold sober with one hundred percent of her conscience in place. So yeah, it's been tough trying to trust women since then.

I don't go out of my way to not trust them, or anything to that extreme. I just have that sneaking suspicion at the back of my neck every time I am talking to a new girl.

Sure, they may be pretty. They may be smart, they may be funny, and they may seem to be interested in me.

But how long until they start drinking and smoking, and sleep with other men? How long until they get bored of me? How long are they able to keep their everyday lives a secret from a gullible and ignorant fuck like me?

And so, I always tend to cut the conversation short. Before I learn her name.

Before I get any chance of forming interest.

So it can never happen to me again.

But then like Josh is suggesting, I found Nikki.

I barely know a thing about her.

Her name is Nikki, and she is a cam girl that used to be a video game streamer. Her heart was broken in two by some scumbag, and she only does what she does for the money.

I don't know what she does off camera, or who she talks to. I don't know what music she likes, or who her favorite actor is. I don't know her favorite food, or what allergies she has.

If this was any other girl, I would talk to her once and never see her again.

So why the fuck is she on my mind?

Why the fuck do I want this girl to be a normal human being to me?

It has to be more than this god damn story she is helping me write.

Even when we are brainstorming, I still feel like she is hiding whiskey under her desk.

She may be laughing on screen, but I still wonder what substance she might be currently high on.

She only strips for money, but how many men got to second base with her these past few nights?

There is something about this girl that is driving me insane. Insane to find out why my mind has decided to ante up on her.

I'm not desperate, I'm not depressed, and I'm not deprived. I don't need a girl's affection that badly. I have only talked to her about an hour a day a couple times. Under no circumstance should I be developing feelings for her at this point and at this rate.

It's pathetic.

But why!?

Yes, she is pretty. Yes, she does seem smart.

Her laugh is contagious, her voice is smooth.

She appreciates physical media like I do.

She laughs at the things I say.

She has provided more input for this story than I have.

But even though that feeling in my neck is still there, it's so easy to talk to her every day.

It's not because she is a just a picture on screen.

It's not because she bares all for anyone with some money.

Maybe, like usual, I am just overthinking this.

In retrospect, it shouldn't be hard to figure why this cam girl I found by chance a couple days ago is somehow earning my trust.

Her name is Nikki.

She has blue hair.

She is a cam girl.

She uses physical…

Wait.

No.

It can't be that simple.

It can't be because of that.

She's a cam girl.

What about a cam girl is making me for some reason trust her more than I trust the average girl I run into on a daily basis?

What does she do that the average girl doesn't?

She strips.

She puts things inside herself.

She isn't doing something illegal.

What the fuck is it!?

God fucking damn it, why!?

There is literally nothing this girl has to hide.

There is no reason she needs to hide anything.

She's just a cam girl….

She's just a cam girl…..

…

…

She's just a cam girl with nothing to hide.

The rest of the deliveries went as planned, just a couple stops then back to the shop. (When I delivered the vacuum cleaner, I was able to lock Josh inside the car so he wasn't able to attack the elderly Chinese woman when she came to the door.) Since there was no work to be done, me and Josh got our checks from the Boss and headed home. We got out about two hours earlier than usual, so I took the time to head to the bank and do some errands.

It was kind of fun, actually. Just going up and down the aisles of the grocery store, daydreaming about the story and about Nikki.

Well, I wasn't technically daydreaming directly about her. It was more like daydreaming about the revelation I had earlier. My neck hasn't felt this calm and smooth in a long time, so I was just savoring every last drop of it I could.

After some shopping, some driving, and just a boring average adult day, I got home about the time I do on a normal day. So that meant it was just a couple hours before the daily conversation with Nikki. So I deemed it appropriate to kill time by starting to actually write the story.

Now any writer will tell you what they think the hardest part about writing is. Some might say the dialogue, the climax, the tense. Well if they say anything other than the first couple sentences, they are lying to you.

The main reason a lot of my writing ideas never come to fruition is because I can't start the fucking things.

Dialogue, a quote, a bible passage, an action, a question, I could go on for days upon days about things that can start a story. But no matter what you choose, you will find yourself backspacing the entire sentence a countless number of times.

But here is the thing though, I still don't know the proper formula of making a good opening sentence. I never have, and probably never will. I just wing it every time, and I know an opening sticks when I wrote too much already to delete it all. So yeah. Wanna know how to write a good opening?

Write a shit ton until you get lazy.

So there I was, yet again struggling to begin the story.

"Maybe, just a single word? Love, peace, squirt…nah. Too cliché."

Should it be dynamic, and gripping?

"When two forces of evil meet in an…evil? Sure, it's a pirate and a thief. But they ain't 'evil'."

Perhaps very mellow and inviting?

"As an ocean drifts our characters together… fuck, that sounds like some Disney star crossed lover bullshit."

Maybe a very important quote that will come into play in the future?

"'You can always use more lube.' Hahahaha….nah."

Maybe a quote from history?

"What kind of fucking historical quotes are about lesbian criminals?"

What if it was a biblical quote?

"Yeah, because Jesus wants to be a part of this story."

I could always pose a question to the reader.

"What if you were pegged by a badass thief? Wait, didn't that happen to Batman a couple times?"

Maybe if I were to….

"Ah, fuck this. Nikki will know what to do."

It was just about that time to copy and paste the link into my browser, and let Nikki know Dean was in the lonely chat yet again. I was about half an hour early, but I didn't think Nikki would mind.

After pasting the link, the web page loaded up, but a lot slower than usual.

"Maybe there is some traffic on the site."

I refreshed the page. A little better, but still nothing on the screen.

"Okay, maybe there is a lot of traffic on the website."

I refreshed again, this time the webpage loaded. Everything except Nikki's stream and the chat.

"Oh, maybe she just started it."

Another refresh. Nikki's stream just barely loaded in, but the chat still didn't. On Nikki's stream, the screen was frozen. All you could see was the tip of her head.

"Alright, this shouldn't be happening."

I tried to see if there was anything I could close on my computer to possibly make it run faster. I noticed the little icon on the bottom hand corner that indicates how strong your internet connection was struggling to stay over two bars.

"Crap, is the wire loose again?"

For whatever reason, if my Ethernet wire wasn't held up in a certain way, the internet would suffer. I rigged up a little stand for it (which was just a thumb tac in the wall and a paper clip) and every now then after closing my front door multiple times, it would come loose. Without refreshing the page, I went over to check on it and just like I assumed, the majority of the wire was on the floor.

I crammed my arm down in the crevices of the desk it was behind to grab the wire and pull it back up on its stand. I added another paper clip for extra support, and went back to my computer. With the internet icon booming with five bars, I refreshed the page one last time.

And I'm gonna tell you now, I really wish I didn't.


	7. Chapter 7

Did you ever find out your parents made their millions by smuggling drugs? Did your grandfather never tell you he was actually a head Nazi scientist? Has your dog ever brought you a human skull? Multiple times?

It's amazing that we build up these own personal reputations for people or things we love or respect. Your parents are your heroes that can do no wrong, but that is their reputation only to you. Your pets are the friendliest animals on the planet, but only to you.

Without any outside influence or rumors, you build up these details and impossibilities for special people and things. Simply because they are your parents, it's impossible for them to be evil people. Since they are your pets, it's impossible for them to be monsters. And so on and so forth.

But sometimes the cruelest thing on this planet is nothing more than the truth.

After decades of growing a bond and building a pedestal for someone you love, all it takes is that one little gram of plastic explosives to knock it all down, taking you with it.

Sometimes you find something out about someone, and it's something you didn't want to know.

In my case, it was something I didn't want to see.

But this wasn't a gram of plastic explosives. This was a loose brick.

A loose brick I knew well was there, but I thought if I left it alone, both I and the pedestal would forget about it and all would be well.

But, as fate would have it, the loose brick fell out of place.

The bricks one by one began to fall.

The cement holding them together was nothing more than brittle gravel, as it chipped away into dust.

One second, that was all it took. One brief moment. That one moment where I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It was my fault I knocked out the brick. For showing up to the chat room early.

As soon as it loaded up, all I could see was Nikki.

Naked from head to toe, with her legs spread apart. Her hands were adjusting multiple toys that were inside of her all at once.

She was looking away from the screen, almost like she was embarrassed.

Her moans sounded more painful than pleasurable. But with the awkward noises of the vibrations and her secretions being splashed around, I couldn't safely assume anything about what she was feeling.

The chat was blowing up.

Nothing but crude and disgusting compliments, and even some commands.

Mixed in with the vulgarity, men were tipping her like crazy.

Some were giving ten dollars, some twenty. Three gave her one hundred, and then one said he would give her four hundred if she put her used toys in her mouth.

Even though she tried looking away, I could see Nikki constantly look back at the chat. She leaned in closer, noticing the bargain.

Even though her body was trembling, she nodded her head.

She took one out, and began to raise it towards her lips.

That was when I completely turned off my computer.

"No shit. She almost made seven hundred bucks in a couple minutes?"

"Josh, that isn't the point of all this! I thought you were gonna try being sympathetic with this."

"The story, yes. But dude, you are throwing a hissy fit because you caught a cam girl being a fucking cam girl. What are you so worked up about?"

"I never wanted to see her like that, never! Yes, I know the whole fucking cam girl bit. But things were working out great, without having to bring the whole cam girl thing into it."

"I warned you."

"I didn't need any warning. I was just praying this never happened."

"Okay, so you saw Nikki doing what she does. It's not like you didn't know, so it's not like she lied to you."

"I know."

"I mean you said it yourself. You probably aren't falling for her. So I am still struggling why the hell you are flipping out like this."

"Because I was."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I was falling for her."

"And out comes the sap."

"Josh, come on. I think this is more pathetic than you do, so it's tough right now."

"Well I am genuinely curious now. You don't trust any girl you meet, so I can only imagine this girl gained your trust somehow."

"Yeah, she did."

"And how did this chick manage to do that?"

"By being a cam girl."

"What the fu…. If you don't explain yourself in the next three minutes I'm gonna lodge a wrench in your fucking head."

"Well, I figured a cam girl had nothing to hide. I mean, why would a cam girl lie about anything?"

"Besides her age?"

"That is a good point, but not in play here."

"So wait, that is all it took? One little epiphany that told you 'Hey, this chick has no reason to hide anything, so that makes her a candidate to be my wife!' Am I correct?"

"Well it sounds even worse when you put it like that, but unfortunately, yeah."

"Well buddy boy, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but just because a girl strips online doesn't automatically means she isn't a liar."

"I know, I just jumped to the conclusion. I guess somewhere deep in my mind I just desperately wanted a reason to like somebody."

"I mean I get your point and all. You don't like drugs and booze and cheating, but most cam girls are drinking or smoking in front of the camera anyway while they tell stories about their sexual escapades with four different guys at once."

"And since Nikki was never doing any of that…"

"You made one hell of a quick assumption."

"Yup."

"So what? You done talking to her now? No more Nikki? No more story?"

"I have no clue."

"Well don't give up ass wipe."

"I don't want to Josh."

"You watched Nikki masturbate, get the fuck over it!"

It wasn't rare for Josh to raise his voice. But this tone he was giving me definitely was.

"Buddy boy, I love you like my own brother. But you and me are not gonna work at this fucking shop for the rest of our lives. I don't know my way out of here yet, but writing is definitely yours. And if you even consider for the shortest second of throwing that away just because you saw a pretty girl squirt, I will personally dig your grave and bury you alive."

It's easy to say I was definitely awestruck at Josh right now. I just wanted to let him continue.

"You wanna know what you are gonna do? You gonna go home today, and get online at the right time to meet this girl. You avoided her all weekend, and you are gonna be the one to apologize and explain yourself. Because this is entirely your fault, not hers. Understand me?"

"Yes."

"You work it out, make her happy, and you two write this fucking thing. You got me?"

"Loud and clear Josh."

"Good."

He turned around to attend to his work. I got up out of my chair and approached him. I tapped him on the shoulder, and when he turned around, I hugged him tight.

"Thanks Josh."

"You wanna thank me? Do it on the first couple pages of the book."

The time was vastly approaching. My computer was loaded up, and I made sure the internet cables were properly supported. I was already on the website, scoping out Nikki's thumbnail. Her chat population was non-existent, no matter how many times I refreshed. So I was pretty damn sure I didn't have to prepare myself for another unfortunate show.

I waited and waited for the time to show the exact numbers I wanted. A nice little shock of excitement went through my brain, and for safety, I refreshed the page one last time.

Still no chat population.

"Here we go."

I clicked on her link, and everything loaded up instantly.

Nikki was in her chair on her phone, not looking at the screen. When the notification sound went off, she barely made an effort to look who joined the chat. One little glance, and without acknowledging anything, went right back to her phone.

"Fuck, I didn't think I'd piss her off this much."

I typed in the chat box 'Hey, it's Dean!' but I hesitated pressing the enter key.

All of a sudden I was having huge doubt about how she would react.

Would she be excited to see my name?

Or would she flip the camera off and end the stream?

But I figured this was all my fault in the first place, so I would have the bite the bullet (if there is going to be a bullet to bite).

I pressed enter. The sound went off, and I reunited with Nikki.

-Hey, it's Dean!

"Look, I don't care if you report me. I am sick of…Dean!"

-Hi Nikki.

"Oh my God, I haven't spoken to you all weekend! What happened? Where were you?"

-Before I tell you, I want to apologize for not being on.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize. It was only a couple days, I was overreacting."

-Actually, I was the one who overreacted.

"Umm… I think you are gonna have to clarify Dean."

-Okay, but promise you will hear me out?

"Innocent until proven guilty. But what could you possibly be guilty of?"

-Well, here goes.

"Oh boy."

-I waited for you early on Friday. I got out of work earlier than usual, and I figured why not check to see if you were on.

"This was Friday?"

-Yeah.

"Oh no…"

-Due to some unforeseen circumstances, I accidentally caught a glimpse of your show.

"Oh…"

-It was something I wasn't expecting to see, so for lack of better term, it kind of scared me.

"…"

-But listen. You didn't do anything wrong Nikki, this was all on me. I wasn't prepared for it, so I acted like a little bitch and didn't risk trying to see you again.

"…"

-But I had some sense knocked into me, so I wanted to apologize to you. And with that said, I'm sorry Nikki. I'm sorry for not being here the past couple of days, because I am a little chicken shit.

"…"

-Nikki, if I angered you too much, I understand.

"I'm just… thinking Dean. I just need a second."

-Oh, sure. Take your time.

"I'm not angry. Just in case you were wondering."

-Good, I'm glad.

"It's just that… I know we are more like friends than anything, but how come seeing me… like that… made you so uncomfortable?"

-Pretty much, just that. I see you as a friend Nikki, I have no other way of saying it.

"Really?"

-Really really.

"Well then Dean, I want you to see something."

-Sure, what's up?

"…"

-Nikki? What are you doing?

"…"

-Nikki, there is no one else in the chat. Why are you taking your shirt off?

"Well, here I am. Dean, I want you to look at me."

-Nikki, I'm sorry. But I am doing my best not to right now. I'm just able to see what I am typing without seeing you.

"I wrote out my cell phone number on my boobs."

-I have a lot of questions right now Nikki.

"Ask away. I'm right here."

-First off, why did you take your shirt off?

"And your second question?"

-Why won't you answer my first question?

"Because all of this has one big answer. I just want to see how many of your questions the answer applies to."

-Well, my second question is why you are trying to give me your cell phone number?

"Any others?"

-Nah, I think that is about for now.

"So you still aren't looking?"

-Yes ma'am. I can hear you fine, but I am looking at the chat box.

"I won't answer your questions until you look at me."

-Nikki, I don't want to. Didn't I say what happened Friday?

"Dean, pay attention to me. I want you to look….at me."

-Nikki, I am very uncomfortable right now. I don't get it.

"For god's sake, look at me Dean! I'm not telling you to stare at my tits, I just want you to look at me."

-So why take the shirt off?

"Dean, I swear to God. Tell me when you are looking at me, I won't talk until then."

-Fine. You win. I'm looking.

"Good. Now, I'm gonna ask you a question."

-Fire.

"What do you see?"

-Why are you being so cryptic all of a sudden?

"Because what you call 'cryptic' I call effective. Now I won't ask again. What do you see?"

-You. All I see is you.

"You don't see the number? Or my tits?"

-Not sure how you want me to answer that.

"Honestly."

-I'm doing everything in my power to stare at your eyes.

"So that implies you are sneaking a peak every now and then?"

-I don't want to, but yes.

"Okay. That's fine. That's good."

-Now what?

"Now I am asking you to stare directly at them."

-Come on!

"Dean, do it."

-Why?

"Just please stare at my tits Dean! Tell me when you are."

-Alright, fine. I am. Happy?

"What do you see?"

-Your boobs. What else am I supposed to see?

"I don't believe you."

-Why not?

"Because my back is turned to the camera right now dumbass."

-Nikki, you aren't just some cam girl to me! What is the point to all of this?

"If you ask one more question, I'm gonna end this stream and never speak to you again. I'm trying to teach you something."

-Okay, okay.

"I'm gonna zoom in the camera on my chest. So that way you have no choice but to look at them."

-Alright.

"Now, how many numbers are there?"

-Ten.

"What color are they?"

-You wrote them in blue.

"What are the first and last numbers?"

-Two and Nine.

"So you have been looking at my breasts the whole time?"

-Yes.

"Good. Because now, I'm gonna take off my pants."

-Nikki, you don't ha-

"Shut up Dean!"

-Sorry!

"So Dean. What do you see?"

-Your panties.

"What color are they?"

-Lavender.

"What's on them?"

-I think they are Batman logos.

"What color are they?"

-Black.

"Good. Now I'm gonna take the panties off. Now, what do you see?"

-Your vagina.

"What color is the hair?"

-There is none.

"What tattoo do I have on it?"

-There is none.

"Do you like what you see?"

-I don't know Nikki.

"Okay, so. You've seen my face, my tits, my underwear, and even my vagina. So now Dean, I will tell you one more time."

-Tell me what?

"Look at me."

-I am.

"What do you see?"

-You.

"And's that all there is to it Dean."

-Nikki, what the hell was all of this for?

"Dean, I need you to see me whenever you look at me."

-Is there a difference?

"Absolutely."

-And what is it?

"Whether I'm fully clothed or naked. If I'm cold and dry, or hot and soaked. Brushing my hair, or rubbing my clit. No matter what I am wearing or doing, Dean I want you to always see me. Don't see my skin, or my toys, or my body parts. See me."

-You'll always be you, is that what you are trying to say?

"Yes Dean. I don't want you to be scared of what I do, because I value these conversations just as much as you do."

-That's why I just texted you.

"Wait, you did? Let me check here…um…you sent a picture?"

-Yeah. I figured why not.

"Wait…is that you?"

-You've helped me realize up until now, all I have ever done is look at you as some sort of a hot body with a personality. But now that I can truly see you, I deemed it appropriate if you were able to see me.

"Wow… um…"

-What, don't like it?

"You are actually pretty cute Dean. Geez, now I'm all flustered. I feel like I should get dressed."

-Don't get me wrong, that was one of the greatest lessons anyone ever taught me. But yeah, you should absolutely get dressed.

"Hahaha, oh man. I hope I'm not blushing or anything."

-When you are all set, want to just text me?

"Abso-fucking-lutely Dean. Gimme a minute or so, I'll text you as soon as I can."

-Alrighty. Guest whatever-the-fuck is signing off permanently. Talk to you soon.

"Talk to you soon Dean."


	8. Chapter 8

I would say up until two in the morning me and Nikki texted each other back and forth. At first it was surprisingly awkward. She would say a single word like 'So' and I'd struggle to think of a corresponding single word that didn't contribute at all to a conversation.

Imagine that. A virtual strip show was less awkward than texting.

But eventually, one of us brought up the story. Nikki asked me if I thought I would be able to try to get some progress done on it tomorrow so she can check it out. I agreed, and boy did I regret it.

I didn't have a fraction of a clue on how to start it.

But duty calls, and part of being in the work force is getting enough sleep.

At work that next day, I gladly told Josh all about the night before.

At first, he wasn't really paying attention.

But as soon as I started talking about Nikki's little lesson, his ears perked right up.

But as soon as I mentioned I didn't have any physical copies as proof, he yet again lost interest.

The Boss sent Josh out on some sort of emergency delivery, so I had the shop all to myself. I plugged an aux cord (that was connected to three various large speakers) into my phone, put on some tunes, and got to work.

Whenever I get into a groove, I tend to do little dances.

But when no one else is at the shop, I immediately become a stage performer.

My original plan was to dedicate two thirds of my brain to brainstorming for the story, but when the music is so loud you are practically breathing it, that's a pretty tough thing to do.

But then a particular song came on. You're Mine by Disturbed. I've heard it a couple times before, but not enough to really sing a lot to it. The initial beat caught my attention, so I found myself trying to learn the song. As soon as the vocals came in, I honed in on the lyrics.

My intention was to just memorize them so I could jam out in the future. But, as it turns out, the lyrics seemed eerily…. Useful.

The lyrics seemed to be on the same boat of 'I am in pain, but you make me feel better'. But a lot of the times in other songs, the 'pain' the lyrics hint to is just some sort of normal sadness. But the lyrics in this song seemed to be more focused on a matter of reviving, or simply bringing someone back. Rather than just kissing a boo-boo.

And then as the chorus hit, I picked up a certain tool to cut the material I was working with. But since the chorus feels pretty badass, picking up this blade was making feel all of a sudden pretty badass myself.

And then, boom. It hit me like a firework.

The thief finds a mysterious artifact, not knowing about its mystical capabilities.

The artifact turns the thief into this powerful, but lustful being. But when she captures the pirate captain, something about her counteracts the effects of the artifact.

The thief is extremely thankful for the captain, and the captain falls for the true kindhearted thief inside the possessed one.

Disturbed, I'm gonna write an awesome lesbian erotica because of you.

Josh texted me that he wasn't gonna be back for the rest of the day. So when the time came, I closed up the shop and ran home. I didn't even take my jacket off before I already had the computer loaded up and ready to write.

Remember when I said the beginning was the hardest part? Well, that was now thrown out the window.

I started by coming up with this 'legend' about the artifact. At first I tried making it rhyme, but uh….nah.

It wasn't a legend just for whoever might have been reading the story. It was the actual legend strewn about in the story's universe. Or in other words, the legend that made the thief want to get it.

I was filling in obscure meanings, and even more cryptic descriptions. But then to end the legend, I was intending to think of something that hinted it practically possesses the holder and fills them with lust. But I was severely struggling to think of something clever.

So I threw in a little writer trick. Since I couldn't think of it now, I'll give myself a reason to not have it to say it right now.

As it turn out, the thief was reading the legend out loud. But the parchment she had was burned, so she couldn't read the most important part.

I took Nikki's advice, and I was going to make the story first person. But my intentions were to swap out the perspectives between chapters.

Plus, I still haven't decided what any of the characters will look like so making it first person gives me another reason to not have to describe the thief yet.

The story starts with the thief already on a voyage to get the artifact.

I wanted to give her a snarky attitude, but then I was thinking about when the time came for her to become unpossessed.

It is really hard to write a convincing snarky character being truly thankful.

But then I also thought, what thief isn't snarky?

So I hit a bit of a conundrum with this one.

Gotta do some brainstorming.

Maybe she tries to be pure business?

"A hot, no-nonsense thief thanking a pirate? Nah, don't think so."

Maybe her snarkiness comes from a different element other than just a simple character trait? Perhaps she's brash and sarcastic because she's young?

"Damn, can't have that either. I don't want to have the age gap, plus a young girl wanting to sexually dominate criminals seems too farfetched."

Maybe she is simply being forced to do this job?

"Maybe. But honestly, that might cause too much separate conflict to deal with. Don't wanna go too overboard."

What if she is actually an undercover expert for the king?

"Nah. I want this to be an awesome story, not some show on the USA network."

Okay, considering none of this sticking, maybe just try something absurd.

I need to think of a scenario where a thief can have a decent thief-like personality, but be able to be genuine when it comes time to love the captain. The 'thankful' part is gonna be pretty damn important, that's why I need to nail this.

Well, it's weird for a thief to thank anybody. No matter the circumstances. So how can I make a thankful thief?

Oh, wait. Maybe it's not about how thankful the thief is, but maybe who she's thanking.

Thanking a stranger is out of the question, but what if the captain is actually someone the thief has known beforehand?

An idol?

"Nah, if a pirate was her idol, she would become a pirate."

An old friend?

"Yeah, because how many times has something like that been done before?"

A tutor?

"Then she would be a fucking pirate, not a thief!"

Well then why would she be so thankful to the pirate a second time?

A second time?

Hold the phone.

Maybe that's it.

The pirate has done something for the thief in the past, so of course the thief would be genuinely thankful towards her.

And I think it's time to add a little irony to this story.

"Dude, that's perfect! How fucking ironic would it be, if the pirate actually saved the thief from getting raped before, and yet the thief is the one doing it to the pirate!"

Welp, I'm getting overly excited for this touchy subject. Who'd a think there is such a thing as ironic optimism?

Welp, I got a solid plot down. Now all that is left is to get this train rolling.

I can tell I haven't written in a while because both my hands were sore as hell. But at the end of the session, I was honestly satisfied. I never really expect much from the first chapter of anything, so I knew this wasn't gonna get me a prize or some reward for being excellent.

But that didn't stop me from sending it to Nikki immediately for review.

She asked for a couple minutes to read it, so I passed the time by spinning around in my chair and quoting Jim Carrey movies. You know, normal stuff normal people do.

I got a text back from her, and it initially seemed way too small to be a review.

As it turns out, it wasn't a review. It was her telling me my grammatical and spelling errors were atrocious.

-Dean, I bet you were excited to finally write, but I can barely comprehend it.

-My Bad, I didn't even bother spellchecking before I sent it you.

-You know, just to make things even better, I think I know someone who can help you with that.

-Spellchecking? Do you doubt my powers to review my own tales?

-I don't doubt them at all. But I think taking free professional help is always a good idea.

-Ah, two of my favorite words. Free and professional. What did you have in mind?

-Remember my friend Audrey?

-Si.

-Well, she said she's good friends with an amazing professional editor. She said she already told him the idea, and since he never had the chance to work with erotica before, he would love to give it a shot.

-All for free?

-That's what she said he said. Don't quote me on that.

-How do I contact him?

-Audrey gave me this link, I'll send it to you. I think it's his website.

-Got'cha. I'll check it out right now.

She sent me the link, and when I opened up the website, I was greeted by one hell of a pleasant webpage.

At the top was the banner, and a picture of a guy and a girl. Considering how they were posed, I was guessing they were a couple.

And something about the name of the editor seemed familiar.

The guy seemed average, but the girl next to him had pure cotton candy pink hair. That was odd.

I looked around the page. I saw a couple of paragraphs describing what he offers, who he is, and etc. (I found out the walking pixie stick is his fiancé. I really have no idea why I am so invested in that.)

But eventually, I found a link that let me email him. I attached my story, and wrote out a little greeting.

'Hello. My name is Dean, and attached is the story I am hoping you will be able to assist me with. You came highly recommended to me from a friend's friend named Audrey. If her name rings a bell, then you might know me as the one writing the erotica story. I don't wish to waste too much of your time, so I can only hope you will consider working with me and my story. Thank you.'

-Did you send him the story?

-Yup, just did. As far as I can tell by his website, seems like a nice guy.

-Audrey never shut up about him for a little while.

-He seems normal, but he's gonna marry some chick with pink hair.

-Is there a problem with that?

-No, not at all. It's just…. Wow, her hair is Pink. Almost like it's her natural color.

-Well make sure you don't mention the hair whenever you talk to him.

-I'll do my best. Oh, and I think I just got an email from him.

-Already?

-Yup it's him. It says you have received an email from Baron Editing.

-What did he say?

-Sure.

-What?

-That is literally all he said.

-He sent you an entire email that just said 'sure'?

-I'm starting to doubt the professionalism here.

-I'm dying.

-My turn to ask 'What?'

-Audrey just texted me.

-And? Why is that causing you to die?

-The editor guy texted her. He said 'Tell the perv to email me his phone number. Emails are for horseshit suckers.' And he included a smiley face.

-Welp, I can honestly say I never heard 'Horseshit suckers' before. Maybe this guy is the real deal.

-Get on it Dean! We gotta keep this story going!

-Yes sir!

-Sir?

-For shizzle!


	9. Chapter 9

"So, this is Dean I have the pleasure of speaking with?"

"Yes sir."

"I'm gonna tell you right now boy, don't give me that sir crap. I ain't your grandfather, so you call me Axel."

"My apologies."

"And, for future reference, this is my fiancé Kyu."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Kyu."

"Same here pal."

Well, this webchat was going quite well actually. I thought by requesting my number, Mr. Baron intended on texting and/or calling me for most of our interactions. But the first text he sent me was commanding me to get onto a two way webchat with him. Something about him and his fiancé wanting to actually see me for some reason.

"Now, I know my name is on the webpage, but Kyu here has just as much influence as I do. So if she asks something that seems strange or out of place to you, believe me, it has a great purpose, so go along with it."

"Will do."

I could see him shuffle through a couple papers. After clearing his throat, he asked me

"So, do you think lesbians are hot?"

"Um, excuse me?"

"Do you find lesbians sexy?"

"I, uh, I guess."

"You guess? I'm not trying to scare you, the only right answer here is what you truly think. I ain't gonna judge or nothing. If you gotta a particular reason for writing this story, I want to know it."

"Oh, in that case. After talking to a friend of mine, she helped me decide lesbians would make for the more interesting story. So that's what truly made my decision."

Kyu butted in.

"And what makes lesbians more interesting than a hetero couple?"

"Well the story is going to involve some rape-y themes, and we figured if one or the other was a male and the other a female, the story was going to be too set in stone or unrealistic."

"Yeah, guess you're right."

And just like that, she vanished from the frame.

"So you mentioned rape-y themes, but the way Audrey told me, you and Nikki planned on making this a touching love story?"

"The rape-y themes were just a beginning on sorts. Mostly for the erotic scenes that come with it. But eventually, overcoming them would lead to major character and story development."

"You sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"Because I have a lot of guys come to me with 'erotic' stories and it was nothing but fifty shades of grey bullshit except there was gutting involved afterwards."

"I genuinely want this to be a good story, with the added bonus of mature erotic content."

"Big words man, big words. Calm down with that shit, I want us to be friends with this."

"Sorry, this is all new to me."

"Never actually went forward with your work before?"

"Yup. This is the first time I actually sent any of my work to a professional for any reason."

"Well, from what I saw, it ain't bad. Yeah, I advertise as an editor, but I am actually much more capable than spellchecking."

"Really? What else can you do?"

"Hell, I can help you publish, advertise, anything it takes to get a book out on the shelves."

"Then how come you don't say any of that on your webpage?"

"Because if I did, people would practically expect me to write the story for them."

"Ahh."

"Yup. So if I tell them I do one simple job any shit computer can do, only people who truly want their work to be perfect come to me."

"But that's not enough to sift through the rape guys?"

"Unfortunately. That's actually why I finally put a picture of Kyu on there. For some reason, seeing an attractive woman scares the pervs away."

"I'll take note of that."

"So back to your story. If you want me to be honest, my one major complaint is the erotica doesn't seem that inspired. I see a shit ton of potential for a great adventure and great characters, but as soon tits and tongues start flying out, they will seem too out of place."

"I understand Axel. But then again, I only sent you the first chapter."

"And what? That's your excuse for not adding anything erotic in the first chapter?"

"Well yeah, it is actually."

"Kyu, handle this one."

A thin pale hand gripped the webcam, and viciously turned it to a different direction. With her legs crossed, and her hands interlocked on her lap, Kyu was staring right at me.

"Dean. Sweetie, sugar, honey bear. I get you don't think porn is appropriate this early. But here's the thing. If this thing gets published one day, people are gonna pick it up because it's in the porn section. And if there isn't even a hint of porn the first chapter, it's gonna scare people off."

"So how do I incorporate it this early? I don't want any major plot line happening already."

"It ain't gotta be scissoring on the third page buddy. Just some details to prove you know what you are doing, and to tease the reader. Make them want more. It starts off with this thief character traveling, so add a couple reasons to describe her naked body, give her some reason to touch herself delicately. Changing her clothes, or bathing are two prime examples."

"Oh, got'cha."

And with that, the camera was back on Axel.

"So you got it?"

"I think I do. Thank you guys."

"Alright, now here is what I want you to do. I want you right here and right now to rewrite the first chapter. I'll text some notes about some common mistakes you made and things we just went over. When you are done, text me, and we will have another chat. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Good. Now get to work."

"Hey, uh, Axel?"

"Yeah? What's up?"

"So are you and Kyu writers too?"

"Oh no. No no no."

I could hear Kyu emphasizing Axel's 'Nos' in the background.

"So how do you guys seem so knowledgeable about how to write a good story?"

"Easy. We are simply good story tellers."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. Hey Kyu? Can we give this guy a break and tell him our story?"

After a prolonged 'Umm', Kyu agreed.

"Dean, take a load off and listen up. We are gonna tell you a story."

Axel scooted over so Kyu could sit next to him. I could see both of them in the frame. Seeing them together was actually kind of magical. I've never seen such a true, honest, happy couple before. I feel like what I saw on this screen, is who I would meet in person.

Safe to say I was getting excited to hear their story. I didn't even know what it was about.

"Dean, we're gonna tell you a story about we met. As hard as it may be to believe, I wasn't always like this."

"What, you were black?"

After both of them had a nice laugh, Axel admitted

"Welp, I did open that one up for you I guess. But nonetheless, this story starts on one of those days."

* * *

"So let me sum this up in my own words."

"If that helps you understand it better."

"Axel, you were a lonely guy on the brink of suicide. If at any point, correct me if I am wrong."

"Got'cha."

"And Kyu here is a love fairy."

"Was."

"Right, was. And it was supposed to be her job to help you find a love life."

"Si senor."

"And eventually, you found a girl named Audrey. Which happens to be Nikki's friend."

"Yup."

"You thought Audrey was the one, but as it turns out, Kyu was the one all along."

"Yes."

"And since Kyu found her true love as well, she is longer a fairy employed by the goddess of Love."

"Correct."

"So…uh….yeah."

"Problem?"

"Well, that was a fantastic story you guys. I tell you, that was great. But um…the whole love fairy thing is still on my mind."

Kyu fired back.

"Look, I'd give you some proof if I could, but I can't. Don't only take away from all of this that fairies are real. What we intended was to show you magic and true love is what's real."

"From what I have heard, you haven't been the most successful bachelor yourself there guy."

"I know Axel, but it's not really something that is important to me at this point in my life."

"Buddy boy, take it from me. It's always important."

"Sorry man, I can't really agree with you on that one."

I could see Axel grip his nose and shake his head. He was reacting like I just said the stupidest thing he ever heard.

"Kyu, this is all yours. Dean, I'm gonna go for a little bit. I'll be back."

And just like that, Axel was off frame and I had nothing but a pink uh…. Ex-fairy staring me down.

"So Dean."

"Yes Kyu?"

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

"Two."

"Where they good?"

"Not really. Both only lasted a month."

"Were you ever in love with them?"

"Nope. Not at all."

"Are you a virgin?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Do you respect women?"

"Of course."

"Do you wanna get married and have kids one day?"

"Absolutely."

"Then you can't write this story yet."

"I beg your pardon?"

I really didn't want another 'love is important' lecture. I wanted to concentrate on my story, but to be honest these guys were getting in the way of that.

"Oh, you think me and Axel are getting in the way of your story?"

What the….fuck?

"Yeah, weird right? Almost like I can read your thoughts like they are lines on a paper."

"Wasn't that a fairy power?"

"Turns out that's just the crazy awesome psychologist in me. Had nothing to do with fairy mumbo jumbo."

"Great, so I can't think around you?"

"I didn't say that. Just make sure you don't think something you will regret later."

"Okay then."

"Dean, listen to me sweetheart. I admire and respect your drive to write this story. I am full hands on deck with this thing, I think it will win awards one day. But throughout my experience, writers are a tricky bunch."

"What makes you say that?"

"Writers are the only people I have ever met that can accomplish their dreams and goals, and still be the loneliest and most miserable people on the planet."

"Now isn't that a little too foreboding?"

"Better I warn you now than later honey."

"So what you are saying is if I dedicate my time to my one and only passion, I will hate my life?"

"Exactly."

"So I'm practically fucked then?"

"Not if you get your love life on track."

"Well Kyu, doesn't purposely going out to find women kind of ruin the purpose of 'true love'?"

"Love just happens most of the time Dean. And I think it already did for you."

"What, Nikki?"

"Well why not?"

"I mean, I have feelings for her. But I don't think they are that justified. Plus, she's just some cam girl."

"You think it's wrong to love her then?"

"No! But I mean it's uh…. It's not exactly something that… I…uh…"

"Dean."

"What?"

"What if Nikki loved you back?"

"What?"

"I spoke pure English, now answer my question."

"I don't know."

"You don't know if she loves you back, or you don't know what'd you do?"

"A little bit of both I guess."

"And that's exactly how it's supposed to be."

"So what now then?"

"Sometimes you have to sit back and let things happen. But when it comes to this story, I think that's what's gonna find you answers."

"Do I write more then?"

"I can't say Dean. Not even I'm that good."

"But Kyu, there is so much riding on this. What do I do?"

"The story Dean. That's your answer. Now, disregard what Axel said earlier about forcing out the new and improved opening chapter."

"So don't write then?"

"That's up to you."

"But didn't you just say-"

"I said the story is the answer Dean! We will be in touch. Now try to go live your life, and let it happen."

"Alright then. Thanks, I guess."

"Don't worry, it will happen sooner than you think. Take care Dean."

And with that, the webcam went black.

"So what the flying fuck do I do now?"

* * *

Josh called me up. He invited me out to breakfast with him and a new girlfriend of his. Since I had nothing else on my plate (I assumed I had to let life just put stuff on that too), I accepted.

Now, I have met some of Josh's girlfriends before. Using the term 'girlfriend' is a very loose thing to do. Usually, a 'girlfriend' is a chick Josh picks up, bangs at least three times, then they break up. If they fuck less than three times, usually either an angry husband, an angry parent, or an angry STD is involved.

When I saw the new girl, I knew immediately it was gonna be an angry parent scenario.

"So Dean, this here is Patty. Patty, this is my best friend Dean."

"Hi. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too Patty."

According to Josh, Patty liked comfort food, so he took us to a local diner. Me and Josh aren't that old in retrospect, but something about this girl just seemed too young even for guys like us. I was doing my best to enjoy the meal and the company, but the suspicion and the pep talk I got from an ex-fairy started brewing a nasty case of paranoia in my head.

"I'm gonna go use the bathroom. I'll be back Josh."

"Alright, take your time sweety."

When she stood up, Josh slapped her ass as she walked away.

"Dude, heaven. Right there in that skirt of hers."

"Speaking of in her skirt."

When he slapped her, some kind of card fell out of her pocket. I picked it up, and my paranoia went off like a bouncing Betty.

Patty was a sophomore in high school.

"Dude, you have been pretty distant these past few days. Is something wrong with your story?"

"Josh, you are committing a crime right now."

"Uh…you caught me in the headlights here."

"Please tell me you didn't know she was a sophomore."

"Hate to disappoint you, but yeah. I knew."

"That's not love man, that's statutory rape."

"Whoa whoa whoa, what's with the judgment bombs? You never complained before."

"Because ninety nine percent of the girls you pick up come from a bar! This girl isn't even allowed near a bar yet!"

"Hey, you got your story and I have my sex life. Maybe one day we will swap."

"I can't let you do this Josh."

"Dean, shut the fuck up right now. You are gonna tell me right now what the fuck got into you. I have done nothing but support you and try to push you for the better for a while now, now all of a sudden you are acting like some priest."

"Josh, I am under a shit ton of stress right now because of this thing. I thought this story was my way into the life I want, but now I am told I can't write it yet until I'm in love but I'm not allowed to know how or when because that isn't what love is and-"

"Dean. Dean!"

Little did I know, I was pouring maple syrup over the napkins and silverware. Not my waffles.

Time to fill in the gaps.

After Kyu gave me that pep-talk, I tried shrugging it off like I already knew what I was doing. I went back into the story, but I felt like almost as if I was poisoned.

I was fine one moment. I was happy, I was excited, I was pumped up to get my writing going. I was talking to professionals, I was learning, and everything was on track. But then, I was told I can't progress without love because if I did, I would end up a miserable fuck.

Yeah, not the best way to end that high.

I was drinking out of a golden goblet full of wine. That wine was potential and my future. But I looked away for a split second. And Kyu dropped a little pill into my wine. A little pill that went unnoticed. She poisoned me with reality, she poisoned me with the present.

I wanted to write more, I desired to continue the story. But there I was, paralyzed at the keyboard. My fingers couldn't move, my head couldn't think of the words.

My brain just shut down and decided "Holy shit, we actually don't know what we are doing."

I tried to consider what Kyu said.

I did have feelings for Nikki, and I had to come to grips with it despite how irrational I thought it may be. I wanted to text her, and sneakily initiate a conversation about love, see if I can pull the words out of Nikki confirming if she has the same feelings I do.

But then, just like at the keyboard.

I couldn't move my fingertips to text the letters.

This time, my poison was doubt and fear.

Fear that I would fuck it up. Make things awkward between us, and ruin my (apparently) only shot at happiness.

So I didn't text her anything.

But she was all I thought about at work and at home.

I couldn't concentrate or think about anything else.

So yeah, safe to say I was a little stressed out.

In the midst of my delusion, I was trying to contemplate love itself. What it means, and what it has to be. What's the difference between love and lust? Puppy love, and adult love, etc.

But no matter how much I hated doing it. No matter how much I owed him.

Josh was always the bad, negative example in my head of what love isn't.

And since true love was the only thing on my mind, my brain started involuntarily warping my view on him. He was the bad, the ugly, the revolting. But he was still my best friend.

All of this.

All of this mental anguish and torment.

Just for a story.

And now, back to the present. Where Josh was on the verge of punching me.

"Dean, you should go home and rest."

"Josh, I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I…. a lot has been going on in my head lately. This story, Nikki, it's starting to drive me nuts."

"I've been doing my best to ground you. So why are you taking all of this out on me?"

"Because I'm starting to see things differently now. Even if somehow, I may not want to."

"What the fuck is this Dean?"

"Josh, you need to change your ways."

"The fuck you just say to me?"

"Josh, this little girl is the nail in the coffin. This needs to stop."

"Fuck you."

"Josh, please. You understand that-"

He stood up. He towered over me, his hand was twitching to grab something.

"No, you understand something prick! What I do in my personal life is none of your goddamn business!"

He was shouting. I could see everybody turning their heads towards us.

"I thought you were my best friend! I supported you, I worked alongside you, for fuck's sake I never judged you a day in your fucking miserable life!"

I didn't even try to speak.

"But now! You fall in love with a fucking stripper and think you are some fucking angel compared to me because you 'love' her? Because you never even been with a woman before, you have some moral superiority over me?!"

He grabbed me by my collar and hoisted me up.

"What kind of cunt are you, huh Dean? It took not even a month or so for you to turn on me. My own best friend, someone I called a brother. I never got in your way, I never judged you for the decisions you made, hell I actually supported every decision you ever made!"

I could see a couple guys stand up. They had the same nervous feeling I did.

"But why?! Why all of a sudden are you doing this to me!? It was just supposed to be a normal every day fucking breakfast, but instead you seemed to have turned into a fucking saint overnight! Well I have had it Dean. I have just about had it."

Those were words that implied he was about to do something.

"You think you are the only one under stress? Huh? Just because you can't write a story? What about me? What about the problems I have I never told you about because I didn't want to worry you! Do you know about the three children I could have had!? Huh?"

No, I didn't.

"My first girlfriend! The first one ever! We were dumb kids, and I got her pregnant. But I was ready to give up my education, and my freedom, to provide for her and raise our child. But she had it aborted before we even knew the gender, and she dumped me an hour later!"

I never knew Josh. I'm sorry.

"There were two more! Two more aborted children that could have been mine, but their mothers wanted nothing to do with me or them! So yeah, I sleep around! Because I want to be in love Dean! I want to be!"

If only you told me sooner.

"But then it all comes full circle when my best friend stabs me in the goddamn back because he is the most selfish son of a bitch on this fucking hemisphere! So fucking go to Hell Dean!"

And finally, he raised his fist back. When it couldn't go back further, I closed my eyes.

I deserved what I got next.

But it never came.

With my eyes closed, I heard Josh struggling.

I heard him say

"Get the fuck off me man! Get the fuck off me! I need to kill this son of a bitch! I need to kill the fucking prick! Let me go!"

I assumed it was an officer, or someone capable of restraining a hurt, angry man.

I opened my eyes.

There was a strong hand, gripped on Josh's forearm.

I followed the hand to the elbow.

The elbow to the shoulder.

The shoulder to the face.

It was Axel Baron.

 _ **AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

 ** _H_** **ello everybody. Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I would like to say something important got in the way, but the main three reasons I haven't updated this story in a while are Overwatch, Resident Evil 7, and the story itself.**

 **I was hitting sort of a rut with the motivation for a little bit. Even though I have much of the story planned out, some of the quick decisions I was making while writing were either involuntarily delaying certain events in the story, or somehow making them irrelevant. So after some thinking, I realized with the way my story was going, it would become too long and redundant before anything truly relevant or exciting happens. So that's why I introduced the sudden and nearly unprovoked turn of both Josh's and Dean's characters. To both keep the story refreshing and exciting, and to keep my interest in writing it.**

 **And also, in the upcoming chapters, I have a little surprise that I don't want to give too much away. All I can say is, the story will progress normally and in chronological order. However, for the sake of having a reliable narrator to tell the story, and to keep the story fresh and rewarding, the next couple chapters will be told from the perspectives of various different characters.**

 **Until eventually, returning to Dean.**

 **But who knows, it may be a while before we see things through Dean's eyes again.**

 **And as always, any criticism or advise is always welcome.**

 **Thank you for reading, and I hope you stay tuned. Cheers.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Well, I guess I can't complain. I've only had to put my hands on two giant angry douchebags."

"Yeah well, Axel it was for the greater good. Josh might have killed Dean if you weren't there."

"Well not to play the blame game, but Dean wouldn't have provoked Josh so badly if you didn't tell him love was more important that his story."

"Well how the hell was I supposed to know he would take it so literally?"

"Because….you're the psychologist?"

"What, I'm not allowed to mess up from time to time?"

"I didn't say that, but even I knew telling Dean to drop everything for love was a bad idea."

"So why the fuck did you basically pass me the mic?!"

"I just assumed you would say something…I dunno….better that that!"

"Like what Axel? Like what?"

"I don't know hon."

"Look, I felt bad for him."

"Dean?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Well, he was just another lonely guy that didn't have a lot of success in his love life. Guess I can't help myself."

"Well Kyu, even for a 'lonely' guy he seemed pretty happy and content. He has a….well…I guess 'had' a best friend, a good friend that was a possible romantic interest, and a simple but admirable dream."

"Of course I realize that now. And yet again, by trying to help, I fucked up someone's life instead."

"I wouldn't say his life is fucked up yet. Soon, but not yet."

"Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better. Thanks sugar."

"Well why did you have to go tell him he needs love first?"

"Look, love isn't as dumb and annoying as a lot of you guys seem to think. I wasn't kidding when I told him writers are the most miserable people I ever met. I just didn't want him to go down that path, so I figured try and convince him to secure his happiness as soon as possible just in case."

"But he didn't need to yet, did he?"

"No. Not at all."

"Look, don't hold your head down in guilt like that."

"Why not? I basically lied to this guy, telling him to get laid before trying to become a writer. And look what happened. His best friend wanted to kill him, he's too stressed and traumatized to do anything, and you said Nikki told Audrey she isn't too sure about him now. All because I tried being a love fairy again."

"Welp, I honestly can't argue with you there. But hey. You're the one that had the spidey sense that something was wrong, and you're the one with the 'borrowed' fairy technology that figured out Dean lives a half hour away us."

"Yeah, well… you drove and caught the big guy's punch."

"It ain't a competition."

* * *

It's a weird rush, I'll tell ya. Even though I almost committed murder, protecting Kyu and Audrey from that dick was one of the very first times I ever felt like a hero. If I had to pinpoint some details, you get the rush of a hero when you prevent someone from experiencing pain.

When I walked into that diner, I wasn't expecting having to rush into action. I wasn't expecting to rip off my shirt exposing the big 'S'. But when I stopped the biggest punch that diner ever saw, I got that rush again. But it hit me a million times harder.

Protecting Kyu and Audrey was the hero I knew I kind of wanted to be. Stopping the punch, was the hero I had to be. Which can only explain the massive rush. I guess you can only feel the true thrill of being a hero when you don't plan on being one.

* * *

"Look, Axel…I…"

"Dean, you aren't gonna be doing any talking anytime soon."

After stopping Josh, a couple other guys joined in. I was glad that no one else felt the need to try and restrain Josh as well, but instead just used their words to calm things down. Josh let go of Dean, before running out of the diner without saying another word. He left without Dean, and he left even without his underage date.

I never met him before, all I know about him was what he screamed in that diner. Hearing him yell, I knew deep down he was a broken man. But seeing him run away made me realize he was broken a long time ago.

Me and Kyu offered Dean and the girl a ride home. After dropping the girl off, we got to Dean's house. I sat him on the couch, and asked Kyu to leave the room.

I am not some old wise man. But I was wiser and older than Dean, so that was the role I needed to play.

"This is gonna be your turn to listen some more. And the first thing I want you to listen to is hearing me say that I am sorry."

I could see by the struggle in his shoulders, Dean wanted to look up and look me in the eyes.

"Me and Kyu were supposed to help you. All we had to do was help you write a story. But instead, we got carried away and tried helping you in your love life too. After experiencing our own share of drama and struggles, we know how difficult but spontaneous love can be. We overstepped our boundaries, and in doing so we seemed to have flipped your simple life upside down. And again, for that, we apologize greatly."

I could see Dean give me the slightest of nods.

"But nonetheless, as much as you don't want to hear it, you aren't the only one that's been victimized here."

And with another slight struggle in his shoulders, I could tell that got Dean's very confused attention.

"I never met your friend Josh before. But by hearing about his extremely young girlfriend, I can already tell he has his own problems. But what I heard afterwards, was a sign that you broke a great bond built on a foundation of loyalty and trust. And for that, I can't fault Josh. Only you."

"Hey man, you just fucking said that-"

"Dean, sit down."

"No! This is my house! Get out!"

"Dean, give me a chance to make this right."

"Out!"

"If you want us out of here, either let me say what I wanted to say or call the cops."

"But why…. I just…fucking what? What the fuck could you say that won't make me feel more shitty than I already do!?"

"Sit down, and I'll tell you."

"Okay, what?"

He glared at me. His cheeks were red, eyes were watering, and his veins were bulging. Sorry pal, this shit doesn't scare me anymore.

"That was all the tough love out of the way. I need you to understand you have to be held somewhat accountable. Do you?"

Barely a nod.

"Say it Dean."

"How is this my fault?! Your fiancé told me to forget about the only thing I care about, and my best friend flips out on me because he wants to fuck a kid!"

"Dean, last time I'm gonna say this. Sit down, shut up, and listen."

"Fine. Fine."

"If I want you to say something, I'll tell you to say something. But for now, it's not your job to argue."

I heard the faintest of noises behind me. I now knew Kyu was eavesdropping, but somehow Dean didn't.

"Dean. You misinterpreted what Kyu said. She didn't want you to forget about the story until you had the wife and kids. She just wanted to make sure you kept your priorities in mind. Only focusing on writing will be the lonely death of you, she is right about that. But then again, not doing anything until you discover true love is just as stupid. I'm sorry if maybe her words confused the true motivation behind them. But nonetheless, a young guy like you should have known the difference. So don't go immediately blaming someone else because you weren't told what to do every step of the way."

Since his veins started slowly sinking back into his skin, I'm guessing that means he was starting to calm down and understand what I was saying.

"I know you don't want to hear it. But even though what Josh was doing was definitely wrong, hell even illegal, there was a million ways of going about that better. And almost all of them don't involve breaking Josh's loyalty the way you did. It doesn't take a pro to figure this out. Dean, you are a pretty selfish human being."

To my surprise, the veins sunk in even more. But so did his eyes. But somehow I know that look. That wasn't a look of revelation, that was one of acceptance.

"You knew you were selfish, didn't you."

He gave me the biggest nod yet. Knocking a tear or two loose as well.

"But listen to me. Stop sulking and feeling sorry for yourself, I want you to look at me."

He did, almost like it was something he was trained to do.

"Me and Kyu are gonna make this up to you. It's gonna be up to you to fix this, but damn it we are gonna help."

With yet another nod, he whimpered

"How?"

And on que (whoa, that's a new one. No pun intended there), Kyu walked her way into the room. She placed her hands on my shoulders, and leaned down to put her head next to mine.

"By doing whatever we have to do to bring back the Dean we met on the internet. We want the guy that was telling jokes, the guy that was ready to rule the world with his stories, and the guy that was gonna make himself a bright future. So let's fucking do this guys."

I could see her palm, and after a great little motivational moment, I gave it a great smack. Dean just got blessed with being in the presence of one of our high fives.

And nothing blessed with our high fives is ever in vain.


	11. Chapter 11

"Just once Audrey, I want to put effort into a guy that won't blow up."

"Well Nikki, as far as I can tell, you have only put in effort to two guys. So you can't go predicting this is gonna be the pattern for the rest of your life."

"Why not? I met some guy at a club, thought I loved him, and it turns out he was fucking more women than fingers I have to count with. Then, I meet a guy who just wants to write an erotic story, and he completely and mentally shuts down over the course of a day or two."

"I hate the first guy just as much as you do, but I'm thinking you gotta give Dean another chance here. Let him recuperate."

"Why? Just to let him-"

"For once, stop making up some bullshit story before you even give something a shot."

"I did give Dean a shot Audrey! He was fun to talk to, he had great ideas, hell I even used my naked body to teach him a valuable life lesson! And he just decides to break things off with his best friend, using his editor's fiancé as an excuse! Now what part of any of that deems him worthy of another shot?"

"The part where there were three positives against one negative. You like math right? The math is right there for you."

"This isn't helping."

"Well, think of it this way. Dean's stress caught up to him, and it exploded. Hey, it happens to all of us. It happens differently from person to person, but it happens nonetheless. But then look at you. A single tip turned you from a gamer to a stripper. I thinks that's on par with Dean's episode."

"Well at least my living was on the line. All this guy was worried about was some dumb story."

"You know that isn't true Nikki."

"What are you talking about? Of course it is."

"I talked to Axel's fiancé. The only reason Dean was stressed out was because he was thinking about you."

"So you're blaming me for his mental breakdown?"

"Fuck off Nikki! God damn, just let someone finish for once before you turn it into a sob story! Why of all times do you pick this age to be a fucking attention whore!?"

"Sorry."

"Yeah, 'sorry'. Nikki, if you don't want me to help you, hang up right now. But considering you were the one that called me, something tells me you won't until we resolve this. So stop being a bitch, and listen."

"Alright, geez."

"Look, Axel's fiancé is a great psychologist. She told Dean writers are amongst the most miserable people she ever met. If you were told that, wouldn't you feel the slightest bit worried?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So she told him, it might be good for him to try to get something to keep him happy and motivated. Considering the only other important thing in his life at this time is you, you can put two and two together. But as I'm sure Dean has probably told you, he hasn't had the most success when it comes to girls, whether or not that bothers him."

"So how does this lead to him flipping out?"

"Look, he didn't flip out. Stop saying it like that. But nonetheless, he got so worried about fucking things up with you. He loved the friendship you guys had, he loved the cooperation. But then, out of the blue, someone very intelligent tells him if he doesn't court you, he will be lonely and miserable the rest of his life. Starting to understand now?"

"Wow, I really have been an asshole."

"But Dean didn't know how to court you without ruining what you guys already had. So he panicked, got stressed out, and that caused him to take a little bit out of it on his friend. Who apparently had his own stress building up for even longer. And that is what happened at the diner Nikki."

"I really wish I just listened earlier. God, I bet Dean never wants to talk to me again now."

"Well Nikki, do you want him to?"

"What?"

"Do you want Dean to talk to you? Now that you understand the situation, do you wanna give him another shot?"

"I mean, I can't say yes or no to that question."

"And why's that?"

"It just isn't that simple. It's not like I ever gave Dean a theoretical 'shot' in the first place. We were just strangers talking about a story, who became friends. But as it turns out, we both kind of had feelings for the other."

"Boom, got'cha!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I just got you to confess you have feelings for Dean!"

"That wasn't obvious?"

"Umm….no! Nikki, the only thing you ever make obvious is that you hate most people."

"It's a gift, really."

"What made you think it was obvious?"

"Did you not hear about the whole 'Look at Me' thing?"

"Oh yeah, the life lesson thing. I didn't think anything of it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Bitch, you're a stripper. A guy seeing you naked doesn't mean anything special."

"Well what if I said I let Dean see me naked without having to pay for it?"

"That does help, yes. So what caused the whole lesson in the first place? I don't get every detail from Axel's end."

"Dean saw me as a friend, so he wasn't too keen on seeing me work. But from what he told me, he accidentally caught a glimpse of one of my shows, and that scared him away for a bit. But he eventually confessed what happened, and how he felt about the whole stripping thing."

"I don't appreciate the paraphrasing, but I think this is the juicy part."

"It is, don't you worry. Well, during the couple days he was away, I felt kind of lonely. I was looking forward to our daily chats, but when he stopped showing up, I guess I got stressed out myself. Part of it was self-loathing. I was missing a guy who was just some words and a randomly generated username, so I felt I was being dumb. But then, I thought maybe he was sick of me, so I started thinking I wasn't even good enough for a username and words. But then he came back, and told me what happened. When he said he didn't want to see me naked, it must have triggered something. I guess I was tired of the loathing and the stress. I realized I'm not gonna let someone who I barely know think of me only a certain way."

"So you snapped, and took your clothes off."

"Pretty much. I wanted this persona on the screen to really know me and understand me, not just see me as some sweet little girl he can talk to. I wanted him to realize I am a woman, I am a stripper, but with or without clothes I am still Nikki, the same person he has been talking to this whole time."

"Girl, where is your Oscar?"

"I don't know, but I guess I stress made me snap just like Dean did. I may have been too harsh on him."

"That a girl. Proud of you Nikki."

"Thanks Audrey. Well hey, this whole thing has been about me. What about you? How's modelling in Britain going?"

"Well, they drink more tea than booze. That was quite the shocker to me. But besides the stereotypes, it's been awesome. The modeling makes me a lot of money, and makes me feel pretty at the same time."

"Well how's it going on your end with guys?"

"Nah. Haven't had the time to really think about them. I wake up, take my half hour shower, take my time getting ready, shoot some pictures, and then when I get home I take my pants off, wear a t-shirt that is too big, and just eat chips and watch Netflix for the rest of the day."

"Man, you are living the dream. But won't the constant chip eating get you in some trouble with the modeling company?"

"Oh it's no big deal. I just throw up everything after I'm done eating."

"Audrey!"

"Got'cha again!"

"Dude, that is not funny."

"Come on, I needed some humor in this conversation."

"Well I'm glad you got it. Oh, you're staying off the drugs right?"

"Haven't touched the stuff in a long time Nikki. I stopped way before I even left for this place."

"Good, good."

"Heroin doesn't count though, right? Especially if you snort it?"

"Nice try Uma Therman."

"I tell ya man, it feels like everybody is referencing Pulp Fiction as of late."

"Well considering you do nothing but Netflix all day, I'm surprised you haven't referenced other Tarantino movies yet."

"What does Dean look like?"

"What?"

"Say 'what' again mother fucker, I dare ya! I double dare ya!"

"Still Pulp Fiction."

"Will you give me oral pleasure?"

"Are you sure you're off drugs Audrey?"

"Come on, cut me some slack. This story used to be very sarcastic and entertaining. In fact, I think it was supposed to very light hearted. But then everyone had to get involved, and instead of laughs we are getting redundant and inconsistent drama, and needing excuses to even continue to tell the story. So yeah, might as well throw some Pulp Fiction in there to lighten the mood."

"What the fu…Audrey who are you talking to?"

"The audience."

"Fucking…the who?"

"Nothing. Nothing."

"Maybe it's tea time for you or something, because holy hell you are acting weird right now."

"My bad Nikki. I should get going though, my ear is starting to hurt."

"Alright, will do."

"Call me more often. These are fun."

"You know, you can always call me."

"Well I don't wanna bother you when your crotch is vibrating. Nikki? Ni- hello? Nikki? Oh, she hung up. Welp, tea time it is then."


	12. Chapter 12

"Hey Dean."

"Hey Nikki, what's up?"

"Look, don't pretend nothing happened. I wanna talk about this whole thing, and get it out of the way."

"You're gonna have to fill in the blanks here for me then."

"Your mini episode Dean? Your shutdown?"

"You sure you wanna talk about it?"

"Considering if it wasn't for my best friend Audrey, I would probably never speak to you again. So yeah, I want to talk about it and resolve it so we can move on."

"Okay, you ask me a question about it and I'll do my best to answer."

"I just mostly want your side of the story. A couple people told me the basic summary, but I want to know what you have to say about it. So we will start at the beginning, with this Axel guy's fiancé. What did she say to scare you?"

"Well, I thought that I was gonna talk to them about the story and nothing else. I didn't plan on changing or thinking differently about some things. When I told them about the story and how dedicated I was to it, Kyu thought that I should be in love first."

"And why's that?"

"She said something about writers being the loneliest people out there. I tried arguing with her, but she kind of forcibly convinced me that if I keep working on this story, I won't be happy. So she said I should I fall in love."

"And I'm pretty sure this is where I come back into the picture?"

"Kind of."

"Dean, don't do this to me."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't try dodging saying the wrong words, or coming off the wrong way. Just please say it, I already know the answer, I just want you to tell me. Not someone else."

"Well what do you want me to say exactly?"

"Tell me where I fall into the whole 'fall in love' order from Kyu."

"Well, you're gonna think I'm pathetic, but don't forget you told me to do this. She told me I should fall in love, but that she thinks I already was, and with you. And part of me realized, I think I am. But up until that point, we were just friends, and not even for that long and under some odd circumstances. I thought 'falling in love' with you that early was just a bad sign."

"And?"

"And on top of that, I didn't want to be that lonely miserable fuck Kyu was warning me about. So I had such an overwhelming task ahead of me, I started to flip out."

"Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"I don't know. The day before you were just that friend to me, but then the next you became my seemingly only ticket to happiness."

"Still doesn't answer my question."

"I'm the kind of guy that would rather do nothing at all, than do something wrong. I figured I couldn't mess things up with you if I never gave myself the chance to."

"And look how well that turned out."

"I know. Nikki, I'm sorry."

"No no, we ain't doing that here. No unnecessary apologies, no sob stories, just closure."

"So what do we do now?"

"Well now I'm gonna say something."

"Okay."

"Your story checks out, I'll give you that much. But that doesn't mean I'm still not kind of pissed at you. I understand completely why you got scared, I know I would have to. Neither of us have the most success when it comes to relationships. But I know I still would have at least told you why I wouldn't being texting you for a while, no matter how much I was intimidated by my future."

"You said no apologies, so I don't know what to say now."

"Dean, this was the second time you avoided me completely. Both of which happened, and I didn't know why until it was almost too late. But Dean, something you need to realize is I wanted you to contact me more than anything during those periods of silence. You weren't the only one that thought you might have been falling in love."

"So what do we do Nikki?"'

"Well first, we come to an agreement. Dean, it's too soon to really confess our undying love to each other, do we both agree on that?"

"Yes."

"But I'll do this first since I hope we both agree on this as well. Dean, I do have feelings for you. Even though you are mostly just a bunch of charismatic words that I look forward to reading every day, I do think you're cute, and whether we stay here or become more in the future, I want you in my life right now."

"So I can't confess my undying love, but you can confess your undying crush on me?"

"I'm a stripper Dean, I have more rights than you."

"Instead of dignifying that with a response, I'll instead just say that I know I have feelings for you to Nikki. I found you on accident, and I just needed an expert to help me write a story. But as a bonus, I found an extremely wise yet down to earth girl, and that even if we never meet in person, you are someone I definitely want in my life right now."

"Now please tell me you felt your shoulders just lose a ton of weight like I did."

"Yes, as a matter of fact I did. This is all it takes?"

"It's just honesty Dean, nothing special. This isn't high school you know."

"You couldn't be more right about that."

"So, we are all caught up to speed, everything is set to go."

"You sure?"

"Oh, I forgot to ask about Josh."

"Not a lot to tell about that."

"Well you got to tell me something Dean. Because all I know is the last time you guys saw each other, he was trying to kill you. So forgive me for being worried."

"It was a nasty scene. I was flipping out about love and such, I started judging everything and everyone around me. I always discouraged Josh's behavior, but it's not like what he was doing was really hurting anyone. Well, anyone but himself mostly."

"So how come you didn't say anything beforehand?"

"It was just a matter of me not wanting to get in his way, because I thought he was happy. One night stands seemed to be normal for him."

"So what happened exactly?"

"Welp, Josh found himself a high school girl. A sophomore, mind you."

"Oh, gross."

"Yeah. And you can guess in my mental state of being at the time, I didn't handle it well."

"From what I previously heard, you tried telling him off, and he flipped out?"

"Pretty much. I told him what he was doing not only at the time, but his lifestyle was flat out wrong and abysmal. I didn't know this about him, but he had a very short cord being stretched out too much. Me doing that to him snapped him, and after hoisting me up by my collar, he just poured out all of this information that I had no idea about. His aborted children, why he hooks up, and etc."

"He aborted children?"

"Well from what he told me, he got a couple girls pregnant back when he was younger, and even though he was committed to being a father, the mothers aborted the children."

"Wow, and it all led up that scene at the diner?"

"I guess. I'm not a psychologist, but I can only imagine his past relationships and how he acts now coincide with each other."

"So are you gonna try to fix things up with him?"

"I've been thinking about that, and I'm convinced I should stay away from him."

"Scared he'll attack you?"

"The opposite actually. I'm scared I'll make things worse for him."

"How so?"

"Well, Axel made me come to grips that I can be pretty selfish at times. All Josh did for me was try to motivate and support me, and never judged a single decision I ever made. All of that, I threw back at his face. So I think the best thing I could do for him is stay away from him."

"So what about the job?"

"Well, I quit today actually. I got money saved up, I'll last a bit even without another job. Hopefully, this will give me time to perhaps work on the story some more."

"Well that's all fine and dandy, but I'm still concerned about Josh. I bet he agrees this was your fault, and I hear he is a big scary dude. What would you do if you ever crossed paths again?"

"I guess if he acknowledges me, the first thing I'm gonna do is apologize. And hopefully, that is all I ever have to do."

"Yeah, hopefully."

"Plus, I don't want to add even another distraction to this story of ours."

"Man, is it easy to forget about this thing."

"So where did we leave off before quite literally everything got in the way?"

"I think you sent me the first chapter, I recommended you to Axel, and then the shit hit the fan."

"You know what, you're right. I haven't touched the second chapter yet."

"Isn't it supposed to be based off of a heavy metal song now?"

"No no, not necessarily. Yes, there was a heavy metal song involved with inspiring the plot, but that is as far as it goes."

"You sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm the one writing it."

"Are you down?"

"Yes."

"Are you gonna get up, and then get down?"

"Uhh….yes?"

"Can you feel that?"

"Feel….ah for fucks sake you're quoting down with the sickness."

"OH WAH WAH WAH!"

"Jesus, fuck! You just blew my ear out!"

"Really? I did it that good? I thought only the bald guy could do it."

"Nikki, you could have just meowed like a cat for all I care, you didn't have to do it so loud!"

"Maybe I should scream during my live shows."

"Since when do you listen to Disturbed?"

"I don't, but everyone knows that song. If it wasn't for the fucked up lyrics, the karaoke fails would have made that song popular enough."

"Good enough point, now excuse me while I go drain my ear canal of blood and discharge."

"Don't be such a baby."

"Well what if I do it to you?"

"Can you do the 'oh wah wah' thing?"

"….. I said 'if' Nikki. Just imagine some apostrophes around the 'if'."

"You can't do it! Ha ha, that is rich!"

"Up until you did, I thought only one person could! So add a nerdy stripper to the list of people who can 'oh wah wah' along with the bald metal-head Jew."

"He's Jewish?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"But nonetheless, why the Jew comment?"

"Because I called you a nerdy stripper. Just calling him the singer wouldn't be fair."

"I'll take that for what it's worth."

"I'll leave it up to you to decide that."

"So back to the story. So the first chapter was just the pirate getting the haunted artifact?"

"No no, it was the thief getting the artifact."

"Oh God, I've dishonored you my grace."

"Take it down a notch, before that sarcasm starts leaking."

"Will do. So what's in the second chapter?"

"I guess maybe set up the captain. Talk about where she is, what she is currently doing, etc."

"So where do we start?"

"Well believe it or not, I still haven't even decided what either or looks like."

"Really? All this time?"

"Yup."

"Well wanna talk about that?"

"I guess."

"Have you brainstormed anything yet?"

"No not ye…well, actually."

"What, you got one?"

"Umm, just hear me out on this."

"I have nothing to do but hear you."

"What if I based one of them on you?"

"Me? Why me?"

"Well Josh actually gave me this idea a while back. He figured since you played such a big role with helping the story, It would be appropriate."

"I gotta hand it to him, that's not a bad idea."

"So you don't mind?"

"No, not at all. Hell, I'm flattered."

"Awesome! So which one do you want to be?"

"Hmm. Epic possessed thief, or pirate captain. Who knew this would be such a tough choice."

"Got an idea yet?"

"You know what, I think I wouldn't mind having the captain be based off my design. Plus, considering you have seen my epidermis in its whole, which makes thing easier."

"Yes, yes I have. And it is the best epidermis I have ever seen."

"Let's not make a habit of using the scientific terms for things."

"Welp, my erection is gone now."

"Too many jokes, questions, and complaints to go with that one."

"Yeah, sorry."

"So with the captain decided, what about the thief?"

"I'm back to nothing with that. God, if only Josh didn't hate me for a couple more days."

"Yeah, if only buddy boy."

"What if he is just waiting for me at the Lucky Hat diner, waiting for my return to shoot me on the spot."

"It happened at the Lucky Hat? The local place?"

"Yup. Couldn't have happened to a nicer, more mundane little eatery."

"Dude, I use to get lunch from that diner every day."

"Can't beat their chicken salad…wait, what?"


End file.
